


The Night He Forgot

by Jeanettesc



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cousin Incest, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Modern AU, Oral Sex, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-07-19 09:29:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 38,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7355416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeanettesc/pseuds/Jeanettesc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern AU. Sansa is grief stricken upon hearing of her fathers death. She shuts the world out completely..and then Jon shows up. He's the only one she's willing to let in. Sansa keeps a secret to herself, about a moment they shared years ago, for everyone's sake. Her heart would be open to him, had he remembered. Life and years go by, and eventually they face the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Modern AU that will take place over the course of years..into their 20s. They start off stubborn, but who are we kiddingl? These two belong together. 
> 
> Jon and Robb are the same age. 20 when the story begins.  
> Sansa 18  
> Arya 16  
> Bran 14  
> Rickon 13
> 
> Other characters will be in and out, but mainly this about the two of them.

   Sansa looked at her reflection in the mirror with no reaction. She barely saw herself. Incapable of judging her appearance appropriate enough for the occasion. Her fathers funeral. 

   For three days she sulked in her room with Lady, refusing to leave. She didn't eat. She didn't want to see or talk to anyone. Her siblings, heaven knows which ones, moved about the house to take their own dogs out, or fed themselves, or maybe the days normal activities..she only knew she wanted no part of it. She was being selfish, and was well aware, but as far as she was concerned, nothing would ever be normal again, so why bother pretending that life was just another message to read, another friends post to check, another meal to eat..when all those things in a world without her father in it, seemed ridiculous. _Who gives a shit,_ is all she thought now, of everything..and everyone. 

   Her mother was a ghost. She was numb, a shadow of herself. Sansa couldnt bear facing her after seeing her the day it happened. Two men in uniform, knocked on their door, and informed her mother that her husband had been killed, during his deployment, saving the lives of...Sansa was at the top of the stairs and didn't recall the rest. She walked to her room, shut the door behind her, and got under the covers. That is where she remained until she heard Robbs' voice outside her door this morning.

  "Sansa..Fathers' funeral is being held today..at 11."

  "Fine." 

   She didn't hear his footsteps walking away, and shut her eyes _wishing_ he would. She knew he was in pain. She knew every person in this house was in pain, but right now, she felt like all she could do, was handle _hers._ She knew her mother was inconsolable, and hadn't been to _any_ of her children's rooms to comfort them. Sansa understood _why. This is HARD, and I just want to be left the hell ALONE._ She heard Robb breathe out of his nose and his reluctant footsteps walking away. She managed to dress herself, put her unwashed hair in a braid, and sat at the edge of her bed waiting for someone to fetch her. She heard light, tip toed steps outside her door and thought it might be one of the younger ones. Then a tapping at the door. She rose and walked to the door. 

  "Sansa."

   It was Jon. Great. Of all her siblings, the adopted cousin is the one she'll be confronting first. She looked back at the clock. 9:15. Was it time already? She wasn't ready. She didn't want to face this. Him. Anyone. 

  " _What_ Jon?"

   She knew she was being a bitch. She wanted to scare him off. She listened for his footsteps. Silence. He was standing out there. _Jesus, what the fuck does he want?_ She wasn't the sort of girl who cussed out loud, her mind was a different story. She was about to return to her bed when she heard him again.

  "Sansa _please.._ " 

   She stomped to her door and whipped it open. He was a mess. Did she look this bad? Maybe she should take a shower. His eyes had heavy dark bags under them. He looked worn. Aged. Broken. He immediately broke eye contact and looked down at his feet. She saw a tear fall from his cheek. The last thing she wanted to do today was to _be_ there for another soul. She felt she had no comfort to _give_. But looking at him right now, she couldn't _think._

   She took a step to him and threw her arms around his neck. His arms came right up and wrapped tightly around her waist. She felt him jerk as he sobbed in her hair. She found herself letting her sobs _finally_ come, cradled in his neck. They both stood there, crying in each others arms. It was the first human contact she'd had since hearing the news. The moment took her by surprise.

   Her and Jon had never been close. He was closer to Robb and Arya growing up. They had similar interests, hung out with similar groups of friends, took part in similar activities together..like fishing, or hiking..that outdoor crap, that Sansa _hated._ It wasn't until a few years ago, they had even developed something resembling a sibling bond. 

   Then.. _that night_ happened. She had walked back into the house after pouring her heart out to him. Alone. Never to be addressed again. Both of them going about their lives, like it never happened. He went off to school after summer, and she remained. On his visits home, she acted completely normal. Normal life of a teenaged girl. Normal high school life. Normal family having normal conversations. 

   "Normal conversations" were the limit between the two of them. Talk of current events, weather, school studies, and things of that nature. Neutral ground. He'd forgotten, how close they _were._ How close they could have been.

 

 

                           -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

   The night of his and Robb's high school graduation two years ago. Their parents had let them throw a party for their friends, under the condition that the list be small, and anyone who drank too much would either stay there, or leave their car and be driven home by their father or Sansa. The parents of those invited would also have to agree, and with every parents fear of an accident occurring the night of graduation because of drinking and driving, every parent agreed. Ned and Cat Stark had the respect and trust of many in this small town, and knew they'd do everything to keep their kids safe. And they did. They chaperoned, allowed the kids to kick back, and party (like they were going to anyway) with no incident.

   Robb's  friend Theon got sick and passed out in the poolhouse. Jons friend, Sam struck out with a drunk girl, and Ned drove him home early. One by one, they either passed out in the poolhouse or were driven home. Until it was Jon, Sansa and Ygritte left. 

   It was late. Very late. Sansa told her father to go to bed, she'd take care of Ygritte if she needed a ride. Her father looked at her and asked sternly.

  "Are you _sure_ Sansa." 

  "Yes father, I've had nothing to drink, and I've had my license for months now, and she lives right down the street."

  "Alright then, just make sure to go slow..and don't let her get sick in the car. She's been sneaking shots out of whatever's in that purse of hers." He smiled. 

  "Goodnight Father. Love you."

  "I love you too San."

   No sooner had he went inside, that Sansa heard Ygritte throwing up by the pool. Jon was standing by her with her hair in his hand. _Jesus Jon, a whole night of flirting with this girl, only to hold her hair back while she throws up. Score dude._

  Their night was decidedly over. He looked up at Sansa and jerked his head, wanting her to help him. She walked around the pool, and joined them. 

  "What do you want me to _do_ Jon? Rub her _back?"_

 _"_ Sansa, just...for fuck sake, _here,_ take her hair or _I'M_ going to be sick!" 

   She did as he asked. He walked back in the house and came back out with a towel, gum and water. Ygritte seemed to be done making herself unattractive to the guy she's had a crush on for a year. Jon held out the water bottle to her, and she took it. She took a sip out of it and panted.

  "Will one of you drive me home?" Ygritte choked out. 

  "Sure thing girl. Want Jon to come with?" 

   Jon gave her a look, that she read as "asshole". Yes , yes she _was_ an asshole. She found it amusing, a "sure thing" that Jon had been working all night, had ended like this. With _no thing._  Ygritte didn't answer, she just hunched slowly to the car. 

  "Well? Ya comin' Jon?" 

  "Come on San, you know where she lives. You're the designated driver."

  "Nope. I think you owe me some company. I don't want to make that drive by myself. You got me into this shit, now see it through."

  "Jesus, _FINE._ "

   He wasn't happy about it. Probably knew she would laugh her ass off as soon as they dropped Ygritte off. They walked to the car to discover Ygritte passed out in the back seat. 

  "Perfect. Well, it's _your_ responsibility to see that she does not throw up in Mom's car..and you'll likely have to carry her up to her house."

  "The hell I will!" Jon said, and Sansa was already giggling.

   They got in the car and started making their way to Ygritte's house. Sansa started her playlist from her phone and Jon shifted in his seat. 

  "What? You don't like my music? You want to make a request?" 

  "No Sansa, listen to all the downer music you want, just keep your eyes on the road." 

   She smiled at his jab at her taste in music. She played it because she knew he hated it. Such a broody fucker. _You'd think he'd love broody music to go with that personality of his._ She knew that wasn't fair. He actually had a pleasant personality, she thought. 

  "Did you get sick, when you went in the house?" 

  "No. I splashed water on my face grabbed stuff for her. Oh shit..did you grab her purse?"

  "Yeah, Dad said she'd been doing shots of something out of it all night. I remembered and grabbed it."

  "Thanks..thank you San. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. We've been flirting back and forth for a year now. It made me look forward to something other than graduating. You know, once you start building this grand finale up in your head and when the moment finally comes.."

  "It throws up on you?" 

  "She didn't throw up on me!" 

   Sansa was laughing. For a moment she thought Jon would continue to be pissed, but the corners of his lips turned into a smile, and before she knew it they were laughing. They were both laughing so hard, Sansa almost forgot the turn to Ygritte's neighborhood, and took the turn a tad too fast. Her eyes went wide, and Jon put his hand on her knee.

  "Easy San." He patted her leg twice.

   She slowed as she pulled up to Ygritte's. Jon got out of the car and walked to the back. He shook Ygritte lightly, said her name, and he helped as she shakily got out of the car. Sansa could hear Jon saying something to her..had fun..maybe a movie. Whatever. What did she care. She looked up to see Jon walking down the driveway and Ygritte opening her front door.

  "Okay. That's done. Get me home. I _need_ my bed!"

   Sansa pulled out and made a U-turn. Her downer music still playing. It was quiet. Then she realized it was quiet. Then she wondered how long it'd be before _he'd_ think it was quiet. 

  "Sansa. You okay? Still shaken from the sharp turn?"

  "No. No it's not that. It's nothing."

  "What? What is it?"

  "Are you actually going out with her again? After tonight?"

   Holy shit. She just asked that. And in that _tone! What the hell?!_

  "Ummm, well..I don't know. I just threw it out there. I mean San..she won't even remember tonight. I was just being polite."

  "Well, maybe you just still need that _grand finale_  since you put so much effort into it." 

   The HELL?! She just did it _again!_

  "Sansa, do you have a _problem_  with me dating Ygritte?"

   Her mouth was dry. She grabbed his water bottle and drank in gulps. She didn't actually know _why_ she just spat those questions out at him that way. What _was_ wrong with her? Why did she have a heat building in her belly at the thought of Jon with Ygritte? How would she explain any of this to him without her coming off as a..as a.. _fuck. I'm jealous. I'm fucking JEALOUS. He touched me. This boy barely_ _hugs me on special occasions, yet when he touched my knee..okay stop it. STOP. STOP. JUST STOP._

 _"_ I'm sorry Jon, I'm a bit cranky, and I guess I'm really tired. No, I don't have a problem with Ygritte. She's actually..well suited for you."

  "Well suited. Hmm, that's warm and touching Sansa." 

  "I'm too tired to think." 

   He seemed to accept this, and stayed quiet the rest of the way home. They pulled up to their driveway and she put the car in park. With the engine, still running, she reached for her phone to turn her playlist off. He reached his hand out and grabbed hers.

  "Wait..I like this song." 

   She let her hand stay in his and she looked up to meet his face. He looked back at her, and there was something _there. It wasn't just her. The way he was looking at her._

 _"_ Sansa..the way your looking at me right now..stop. I have too much alcohol in my system to stop anything stupid from happening."

   She couldn't believe what he just said. This all happened within a span of 30 minutes! How have we gotten _here?_ Her mind was racing. What stupid thing could possibly happen between them? She could only assume he meant a kiss..or making out. Or..no...not that..not in a car in front of their.. _ohhhhh yeah, their Parents house._ Is that it? Is that why? Because they were cousins, practically raised as brother and sister? 

   She never really looked at Jon the same way she looked at her brothers, of course. Sure, life, or rather death, had brought him into her family's home when he was young, too young for Sansa to even remember. She was a baby. But growing up, the story of Jon's mother and father dying tragically in a car accident, was told to her many times. Her father talked more about his sister, her Aunt Lyanna, and how beautiful she was, how many men adored her, and the bond they had as children. Her siblings had conversations more to the likes of ' _he's our brother, that's how it's been and that's how it will remain'_ but Sansa always thought of him as a cousin. A cousin who has been our guest for ages. 

  "Stop what from happening?"  

   She was back to looking straight into his eyes. Trying to read what was there, and not knowing him well enough to determine. He didn't answer. Her palms got sweaty because her go-to thought was to be perfectly honest with him. She couldn't look at his face while she spoke, so she looked down at her hands.

  "Jon, when you put your hand on my knee back there..I _felt_ something. The next thing you know, I'm pissed that you were such a gentleman to Ygritte, then I heard you talking sweet to her, something about going out again and it..well, I..was a little jealous."

   She said the last word with a whisper. _Jealous._ She just told her cousin she was jealous of his stupid girlfriend. She was a child. He would think she was a stupid child. A sick, twisted girl with inappropriate thoughts about him.  The silence in the car was deafening. The song now over, she reached to grab her phone again. She wanted nothing more than to go back into that house, race to her room, and shut the door behind her. She wanted to forget that she felt this way for a second. A second was too long to feel the way she suddenly felt for him. 

   His hand reached for hers and a pang of dread rose in her stomach. He didn't let go. Unaware of what to do, she opened her mouth to tell him to forget it, and let her go. 

   But his face was in front of hers now, and he was so close to her lips, she could taste his breath. She stared at his lips for a moment. How she had not realized until now, that he had the poutiest, most beautiful pink lips, that seemed to invite you to kiss them, was baffling. Tingles shot through her entire body, she moved closer to put her lips on his. He was first. His mouth, suddenly on hers. Inexperienced at kissing that she was, she was willing to work on it with him, however long it would take to get it right, because she could do this _Forever._ He breathed in sharply, softly leading his tongue into her mouth. She followed lead and opened her mouth more. She played with his tongue with hers. She found her fingers combing through the black curls of his beautiful hair, and was enjoying kissing him so much, she let out a soft moan. 

   He stopped. Suddenly he pulled away.

  "No. No Jon, no..please, that..I enjoyed that! Please don't think..I mean, what's wrong. Why did you stop?"

  "Sansa, you're sixteen. You're my cousin, and we've been raised by the same parents. Your brother would _kill_ me. Your father.. _our father.."_

 _"_ No. No Jon. Please. Don't. I don't care. I don't know why I feel this way. I don't know why kissing you is the most natural thing in the world to me right now. I don't know why it makes sense in my head or my heart but I _want_ you! I want you to be _mine._ I want to be _yours_. Tell me that's not what you want, and I will never bring it up again. It will go back to our _normal_ relationship. Just tell me the truth. Please Jon..we can get past all of it, if I'm what you want." 

   He sat perfectly still, rigid, and turned to face her. 

  "I'm sorry Sansa. I..I just drank too much tonight."

   Her heart felt crushed. Her insides dropped, like the sickening elevator feeling. He moved to open the car door and walked into the house. She just stared after him, mouth open, heart shattered. It took her a minute to convince herself that she hadn't  lost the use of her legs. She grabbed her phone, the keys and entered the house. She has to pass Jon's room before getting to hers. She sees his light is off, door shut _and probably locked_  she thought. She was a fool. She knew it. She walked past his room, and entered hers. She shut the door and got under the covers fully clothed. She wanted to wake up tomorrow like it never happened. She hoped he'd forget. If he did, so would _she,_ and never make mention of it again. Maybe he wouldn't remember that he destroyed her. 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jons POV upon returning home.

   Jon had finals in a week, and had been living his life like a zombie for the past three days. His second year of college was turning out to be much harder than the first. Studying alone, most of the time, and working security for events at the campus arena, he had time for nothing else. Eating and sleeping came second. Dating and/or a social life wasn't even on the list. He knew other classmates and coworkers, thought he was an anti-social introvert. Which he wasn't. Nor was he a snob. He _had_ friends. He had family. They all went about their lives as he did, but he lacked the motivation to take advantage of school the way others did, so he left his heart at home, and focused on getting through school. That's all he knew. He missed them. Two years gone, and he still missed home. There was definitely more to it, but he'd never allow that to escape the confines of his mind.

   His plan was to get his Bachelor's and join the military as an officer. He hadn't decided which branch. Army, most likely..like his father. He looked forward to this month finally being over and going back home. Choosing his major was at a stand still, and Ned was riding his ass about it. He hated himself for being so indecisive, and had even discussed taking a few semesters off to spend time with his family and decide _then._  During his fathers deployment, they had exchanged quite a few messages on the subject. Ned had only been willing to state that, they'd discuss it when he got home. Jon would be home by the end of the month, in three weeks. His father due back in a couple of weeks. 

   Perfect timing. They'd both be so glad to be back home, who knows how long it'd take for the talk to happen. There was also Sansa's graduation. God knows how much planning her and Cat had put into the party. Everyone would be there. Her friends, her entire family, Robb was coming home as well..with a girl he met at school. _Looks serious from the ridiculous pics they both post._ He smiled, thinking about Robb and his big cheesy smile standing next to Talisa in front of an amusement park ride..that also _happened_ to be _both_ of there profile pictures. He was sure his brother was in love, but they were still so young for that. Truth be told, he was slightly jealous. Robb was young, in love, a free ride from his impeccable grades in high school, an off campus apartment with his girlfriend, plenty of free time, and knew what he wanted to do with his life. _Fucker._

He couldn't wait to see Arya. And the boys. They had all been faring well in school. On his last visit, during spring break he spent time camping with them and Robb. Sansa opted to hang out with her girlfriends, and he rarely saw her. They just passed eachother by in and out of the house. A quick glance, nod, or murmured greeting was the gist of their relationship nowadays. He and Robb left for school, and it had been like that with her _every single time_ he came back home. He had thought about a thousand times, to catch her alone, and talk to her. _That night._ That fucking night, changed _everything._

His first winter break, he came home, and she was dating that asshole, Joffrey. He knew it wasn't serious. She clearly couldn't stand the kid, but had him on hand the entire time anyway. The only time he could get her alone was at night when the whole house slept. She shut herself in her room, and as he lay in bed, he gathered the balls to sneak into her room and talk to her. He never even left his room. He had no idea what he _would_ say. So it went on like that. He'd come home and visit with his family, and she busied herself with human distractions during every visit. So be it. Better this way. Better for _her._ He refused to address it, because the very thought of _their situation_ was enough to cause _him_ emotional undoing. He wouldn't break it all down and add to _hers._

He was barely able to keep his eyes open anymore. He was drained. His cell started buzzing about on his desk. It was Robb. 

  "Hey man, what's happening?" 

  "Jon." His voice was cracked and his stomach dropped. "Dad is gone."

 

                -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

   The past twenty four hours were a complete blur. He wasn't even sure how he managed to get home. His first call was to Sam. It was 2:00 a.m. and he knew Sam would be awake. He barely remembered their conversation, but Sam offered to make the 5 hour drive to his campus, and pick him up, to bring him back home. Jon started packing everything in his room, which wasn't much. Everything he owned fit in two suitcases and a Rubbermaid bin. He looked at his phone. Four hours before Sam would be there. He let his body fall onto the bad, and laid back with his feet still on the ground, and he wept. His sobs strangled his throat. He pulled his pillow over his face to wail into it. Bringing his legs up, he fell asleep in a fetal position, crying for his father.

  "Jon?" 

   Jon snapped awake as soon as he heard Sam's voice. He lept to the door to open it and no sooner had he did, felt Sam's giant arms wrapped around him. Jon returned the hug and tapped his hand on his back. 

  "Jon, I'm SO sorry. I can't imagine the pain.."

  "Help me with my stuff Sam, I need to get home..I'm..I'm sorry Sam. Thank you for making the trip, but..I just really want to go home now." 

  "Sure. Sure thing Jon." He looked hurt, but Jon didn't want condolences right now. 

   They took no time getting on the road back home. Jon felt incapable of keeping his eyes open, so he slept most of the way home. He woke up with less than an hour to drive, when Sam stopped for gas. He texted Robb. 

    **You home yet?**

**Yeah. How long until you get here?**

**An hour.**

Sam came back with sodas and snack bars, and forced Jon to eat and drink something. They were close enough to home to home to start passing places Jon was quite familiar with. Riverrun, where Cat's father owned property. The Starks visited several times as a family. He'd loved going. They'd go canooing, hiking, played football in the massive yard..at night, they'd build a fire and sit around while the adults drank and talked, and the kids made s'mores. Those were some of the best memories Jon ever had. He missed being one of the kids. How his father brought him up to _feel_ like one of the kids. 

   Soon they neared the exit to Winterfell, and Sam made the way to their house. Nerves took over, and suddenly he was in a cold sweat. The reality of seeing them all now, was overwhelming. Ned was a crucial part in making him feel like he was no different than any of his other children. He clung to that for as long as he could remember, and now, that his father was gone, would they..he didn't want to finish thinking it. 

   Sam pulled up to the house. It didn't look the same. Seemed colder. He could already _feel_ the silence and grief in that house. He and Sam got his stuff out of the car, and he turned to hug him and thank him again. Sam muttered something about letting him know..about the service, as he walked the steps to the front door. He couldn't hear Sam. He didn't hear his car start up and drive away. He only heard his thumping heart in his ears. He set his bag down and reached for the knob. It was open. The first thing he heard was the jingling collars of Ghost and Nymeria running to greet him. Their tails were whipping side to side and he crouched down to embrace them both. 

  "Hey." 

   He looked up at Robb and stood. 

  "Hello brother." 

   Their words came out sullen and monotone. They stepped to eachother and embraced. Robbs appearance was what he expected. His eyes were bloodshot red, and his face still glistened with fresh tears. 

  "Who's here?" Jon asked.

  "Everyone." 

   It pained Robb to say that, because it wasn't true. _Everyone_ wasn't here.

   Jon went out to get his things and brought them to the bottom of the stairs. He started walking to the kitchen, and Robb followed. The kitchen was the entire family's staging area. The amount of serious conversations in the kitchen between every soul in this house, was ridiculous, but for every serious moment, there had been an equal of happy ones in here. There was a huge curved counter with 6 stools and a large booth in the corner. The dogs stood by the kitchen door waiting to be let out. Jon realized they must have been neglected this morning.       

   Robb sat in one of the stools, and Jon watched his and Arya's dog run around the back yard. He walked to the fridge instinctively, and looked for..nothing. He wasn't hungry. He grabbed a water bottle and turned to face Robb. 

  "When is.." Jon started to ask.

  "Thursday. The plane with.." Robb swallowed hard. "It lands tomorrow, and Uncle Robert is taking care of the service." 

   They both sat in silence, neither knowing what to say. He didn't want to ask where anyone was, he already knew. They were all barred up in their rooms, living and breathing grief. Feeling more sad than they have ever felt. He heard a scratching on the door and let the dogs back in. 

  "Have they been fed?"

  "I don't think so." 

  "Where's Grey?"

  "Back home with Talisa."

   Jon filled their five bowls with food and water and thought about Robb calling his apartment "home". Had it been home because of Talisa? Was it more than young love? Jon had been here for 15 years and couldn't even fathom calling another place home. _This_ was home. 

  "Speaking of which, I have some calls to make Jon. I need to make arrangements with my school to take finals, if I even can. I also need to talk to Talisa."

  "Yeah, do what you gotta do brother. I'm going to check on the kids. How's your mom?" He felt stupid for having let that come out of his mouth.

  "She won't come out of her room. Sansa either." He looked and sounded defeated, hung his head down and slumped away.

   Jon's walk up the stairs were painfully slow. He didn't want to do this at all. He _had_ to. He approached Arya's room first. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, staring out the window. When she saw him she got up, ran over and hugged him. He hugged her back and rocked her back and forth. They sat down and talked. Arya held nothing back. Her heart poured out. She cried and held onto his hand, and squeezed it when she talked of their father. Bran and Rickon's faces suddenly appeared through the crack in the door, reluctant to push it open. 

  "Come in guys, Jons home."

   Both boys rushed inside and double teamed Jon with hugs. They were teenagers now and too big for his lap, but he rose and picked them both off the floor, one in each arm. He couldn't help but smile. It was so good to be around them, despite the circumstances. He hugged them tight and they whimpered under his strength. He let them go, and they all sat on Arya's bed, berating Jon with random thoughts, questions and observations. They told him how Cat hadn't come out of her room since the uniformed men left. They waited for Robb to explain things, and he did, but not enough. _A kids natural desire to know every detail._ Jon himself, wasn't aware of the specifics either. His father was gone. The how and why wouldn't help his pain one bit. 

  "...and Sansa, she's got Lady stuck in her room, and..."

   Hearing her name sent chills through his body. _Sansa..my poor Sansa._

 _"_ Jon..are you listening?"

  "Listen guys, it's been an incredibly long night. I'm going to put my stuff away, and get settled. Maybe eat, maybe shower. Meanwhile, I put food and water in the dogs bowls, so do me a favor and let them out soon."

   They all nodded.

  "This is an absolutely terrible time for everyone in this family, and I would give _anything_ just to have one more moment with our father..to say goodbye, to hug him...or just see his gritty smile again. We are _ALL_ hurting. The only way I'M going to get through this, is WITH my family. With you." 

   He looked at each of them, and all three of them had tears streaming down their cheeks.

  "I just want you to know that different people, grieve differently. Your mom, your sister, it might take them a while to.." He tried to think of how to put it. "Face the world again." He looked at them and tried to smile.

  "How long are you staying Jon?" Bran asked.

  "As long as I am needed here little brother. I don't care how long it takes. We are a family and we will get through this _together."_

   He teetered and felt dizzy. Exhaustion.

  "Come on guys, let him get some rest. Jon, we'll take care of the dogs and I'll feed the boys."

  "Thank you Arya."

   They came together for a group hug, and Jon took his things to his room. He looked down the hall and saw Sansa's bedroom door shut. He thought to visit her as well, but immediately decided he would wait. He knew she wouldn't answer. Not today. He walked into his room, leaving the door wide open, fell face first onto the mattress and drifted into a deep sleep.

 

   He woke to Nymeria and Ghost jumping on his bed. He pet both of them, as they licked his face. Summer was standing next to Bran in the doorway. 

  "Remember when dad brought them home? Six puppies. Mom nearly shit herself" 

   Jon chuckled. 

  "Yeah. A litter of huskys, one for each child. That was a great night. Hey, what time is it?"

  "It's 7 a.m. Jon. You slept for 16 hours straight."

  "Jesus Christ, are you _serious?_ Why didn't you guys wake me?"

  "Because it was pretty clear you needed it Jon."

   Robb appeared behind Bran and managed a small smile. 

  "Uncle Robert will be here at 9 to go over a few things..we were gonna have breakfast and attempt to get mom out."

  "Yeah..sure, let me jump in the shower I'll be down in 10." 

   Jon stretched out on his queen size bed and enjoyed every bit of it. His twin bed in his dorm room, was made for a child. Lucky they had _all_ been, to have a house big enough to accommodate all the kids and animals in it, comfortably. He sat up and checked his phone. He had notifications that he didn't want to check, and texts he didn't want to answer. Everyone who'd meant anything to him, was under this roof. He opened his bag and got out fresh clothes for after his shower. As he walked out, he looked to the right and three doors down. Her door still shut. He would attempt to get to her today. 

   After his shower he walked downstairs and joined them in the booth for breakfast. Their conversations were light and short, but at least they were together..minus Sansa. She should've been there, letting them help her. Letting _him_ help her.

   They heard the clacking of nails nearing the kitchen, and looked up to see Lady running in. She ran straight for her bowl. They turned back around, expecting Sansa to follow..but she hadn't.

   They finished eating, started cleaning and putting things away. The boys, still in their pajamas, went to the living room and turned the tv on. It somewhat resembled normal home life. Jon and Arya joined the boys in the living room, while Robb stepped out to make a phone call. When he came back in, he joined them, and they sat together and watched tv. 

  "I'm gonna try to get mom to come out for Robert's visit." 

   They all looked at Robb and probably thought the same thing. _Good luck with that._

Jon listened as his footsteps approached Cat's room, over their heads. He knocked at the door. Nothing. Then he heard Robb say "Mom". Nothing.  Robb started explaining things through the door, and when he was finished, nothing. He knew him and Robb would likely have to go over things with Uncle Robert by themselves.

   He got up to fetch the paper outside. When he opened the door he saw a florist van parked in their driveway. A man was getting out multiple arrangements and he called Arya over. The delivery man had a sullen look on his face, delivering sympathy bouquets had to be the downside to this job. Here you are, putting smiles on woman's faces all day, except when you deliver these.

   Arya took the flowers and put them on the table, he went back to get two more. Robb walked down and shook his head.

  "I don't know what to do man. She's not coming out. Her door is locked. The funeral is tomorrow, people will show up, wanting to offer their condolences, and bring food and shit. I don't know what I'm doing, _how_ to do this, I don't know _what_ to tell Uncle Robert! Announcements? Decisions? I fucking _don't know what to do!"_

Jon got up and put his hands on his shoulders.

  "Shhhh..Rob, it'll be okay, we'll deal with it."

   Robb shook his head, with tears welling up in his eyes.

  "This is so hard. I'm...I never expected this. Dad was only 42, he was coming home! He was suppose to _come home."_

   Jon pulled him in to hold him, and let him cry. Arya and the boys close behind. The front door was wide open and they heard Uncle Robert clear his throat, making his presence known. They startled back, wiping tears from their eyes, and dispersed. Jon stepped forward to shake his hand but Robert pulled him in for one of his bear hugs, and slapped his back so hard, Jon let out a little cough.

   Robb joined them, and they sat down in the dining room to make all the arrangements for their fathers funeral. Uncle Robert was a godsend, as he was taking care of absolutely everything. The two of them sat there, grateful for every decision they did not have to make. Robert had them sign papers they didn't understand, nor listened to the description of very well. They did tell him that they didn't want a memorial service after. Robert nodded. Catelyn's absence being all the proof he needed. As he got up to leave, he shook their hands, told them not to worry, and offered condolences for their loss. Jon knew it was hard for Uncle Robert as well. He had been their fathers best friend since childhood. They joined the service together. They were like brothers. Jon offered him condolences too, and walked him out to his car. 

  "Did your father ever tell you that I wanted to marry your mother?"

  "Yes, he said you were a fool in love."

  Robert's belly laugh rumbled out.

  "A young fool in love, yes. I believe every man who ever met her, fell in love with her. She was a beauty, inside and out. Your father and I joined the service right after high school. He married Cat before he we went to Basic, and I wanted to marry Lyanna. She suggested we wait a year, to see how the military would affect my life. We were kids she said. So I went away to become a man, and in the space of a year, she met the love of her life, fell in love, and was engaged. I was shattered. But I hadn't been faithful to her from the get go, and accepted that I wasn't worthy enough for such a pure soul. When she passed, I grieved with your father. I saw him bring you home, and hold you as though you were his own. You _saved_ him Jon. He was in danger of going to a dark place, and staying there..but you needed him, and he was determined to be there for you, and love you..the way she would've wanted."

   Jon felt his stomach tighten. He was too emotionally unstable for this.

  "I'm sorry for my shooting off there. I look at you and I see.." He stopped. "You are lucky to have what you have in that house Jon. That's pure love in there. Not all houses have that."

  "Thank you Uncle Robert." 

   He pulled a box out of his car and handed it to Jon. 

  "Your fathers personal items, son." 

   He drove away, and Jon turned to walk back into the house. 

  "What's that." Arya asked.

  "Dad's stuff." 

   He went upstairs and put the box outside the door of Cat's room. He walked to the outside of Sansa's door. He leaned in to see if he could hear anything. Nothing. Not a body shifting in bed. A faint sound of music from earphones. Curious footsteps tiptoeing on carpet. Faint weeping. Nothing. Complete silence. A wave of fatigue hit him, and he walked back to his room. Ghost was on his bed and he lay down next to him and pet him, until his eyes closed.

 

  "What the fuck Jon are you on _drugs?!"_ Robb yelled.

Jon jerked straight up and looked out the window. It was almost dark. 

  "Fuck man, I'm sorry. I just..took a nap, what the hell?" 

  "Brother..its 6 in the morning. You slept all day and all _night."_  

   He was dumbfounded. Why in the hell did he sleep so long? 

  "Why didn't you _wake_ me?"

  "Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've kinda been losing my shit lately, and I really needed Talisa. So she booked a flight that landed about an hour after uncle Robert left. You were taking your "nap" and the kids didn't want to be stuck in the house while I left, so they insisted on coming with me to pick her up. But her flight was delayed like an hour, and by the time she landed they were starving..and Tal suggested we have lunch together before coming home. By the time we got home and settled, your ass was still _asleep_  and Arya and Tal just told me to leave you _be,_ that you were bound to wake up soon, and you _didn't._ So did you _enjoy_ your 18 hours of sleep you crackhead?" 

   Jon threw a pillow at him and hissed "I'm not a crackhead. I've just been.." He didn't know how to explain it. Working, school, studying, that was no different than what millions of other students faced. Why was he so fucking _tired_? 

  "Well, I hope you got it out of your system. I don't want to worry about _your_ well being too. You look like shit. And then there's Sansa and mom, locked in their rooms. Who _knows_ if they'll even attend father's funeral, or if they'll have the energy, seeing as how they haven't eaten in three days. I'm starting to look like an asshole to my fiancé.." He abruptly stopped.

  "What? Your fiancé?" Jon wanted to blurt out so many things but one look at Robb's wide eyes told him, not now. And suddenly she was behind him. 

  "You must be Talisa. Nice meeting you, I'm Jon. Welcome to the family." 

   She smiled kindly. "Nice to meet you Jon. I..I'm gonna go downstairs and make a pot of coffee." 

   Robb walked over to Jon's bed and punched him in the leg.

  "Nice introduction dick." They both broke out in laughter. They needed it. Today of all days, true, but nevertheless, they needed it. Jon could clearly see what Robb meant. Talisa had him a changed man overnight, by simply showing up. Being there for him. 

  "I'm jumping in the shower before everybody wakes up. Do me a favor and don't fall back asleep. We can keep Talisa company." 

  "I'm up. I'm up." 

   Robb closed the door and Jon sat up to look at himself in the mirror. He _did_ look like shit. He slept here longer than he's been awake here, but there are still dark bags under his eyes. He's got 5 day old beard growth on his face. His hair looks a mess. Unruly curls going in every direction. _Ugh_ he thought silently. He lay back and thought over the past few days. 

   He missed Sansa. There use to exist genuine moments between them, that made him feel close to her. Then, that night happened. He didn't have to close his eyes for that memory to flash through his head. He's gone over it a thousand times. More. 

   He lied to her. He wasn't drunk. He didn't forget. He hasn't been able to forget about _any of it_ for two years. He's had a broken heart for two years. Letting go of someone he wanted and knew he couldn't have. Had she been any other girl in the world, he'd probably already be married to her..like his Dad. And his Mom. 

   He refused to date. Never let anyone close to him. He kept the charade going of shallow pleasantries between them. His heart, chipped away, piece by piece, with every trip back home. He'd smell her as she whipped past him and had the urge, a hundred times, to take her by her shoulders and hit her with the truth of it all. He loved her. He had been in love with her the moment she expressed her jealousy about Ygritte. Her sad soul, exposed. She may as well, hit him over the head with a rock. He'd never thought of her that way. She was undoubtedly beautiful, but she was his sister. He didn't think twice about flirting with another girl in front of her. Putting his hand on her knee, was to calm her nerves, a jerk reaction. 

   And suddenly..she was pissed. Not like a girl. Like a woman. Everything, the confrontation, admitting desire, the kiss, her hands in his hair, pouring her heart out, and his lie, he not only remembered, he replayed it in his head everyday. 

   Robb opened his door and asked if he was going downstairs for coffee and breakfast. He followed him down. His mind floated as he tried to eat, and listen to Talisa talk about their first encounter. He smiled, nodded, laughed when needed, but he wasn't really there.

   The kids were coming down one by one, and they took turns feeding them and taking care of the dogs. Talisa offered to help Arya with what to wear, and Robb offered to get the boys clothes out for them. Jon went back to his room, and tried to collect his thoughts. 

   He would see Sansa's face today. He would be there for her. He would comfort her, if she let him. He'd do anything for her, because he was hopelessly in love with her.

   He heard Robb down the hall, talking, telling Sansa what time the service was. He heard her respond. Robb made no move to walk away yet. Jon listened as Robb sighed. He'd guessed that Robb was waiting for a response other than "Fine" or maybe he'd thought she'd finally open the door. Now he was walking back to his room, and poked his head in, looking defeated.

  "You gonna get dressed?"

  "Yeah. Yes. I'll do that now." 

   Jon watched and listened, for it was Cat's door, Robb now stood in front of. He had a cup of coffee in his hand, and tapped on her door. "Mom, please open the door." The sound of her knob turning, and door opening, surprised him. Robb mumbled some words, as Jon peeked and saw Cat's door open up enough to let Robb in. It closed behind him. He was glad to not be the one dealing with her right now. 

   He never had the same connection with Catelyn, as he did with Ned. He knew how maternal and loving she was, had _seen_ it with his own eyes, growing up. She wasn't cruel to him, by any means, but as a child, he grew up to call Ned "father" and Cat remained "Cat". No one ever addressed it, it was what it was. He was sure she loved him, just not like she loved her children. With his father, there no difference. He was a Stark to Ned. Whatever he felt he lacked from Cat, Ned more than made up for. Sadness overcame him, and suddenly he wanted to lay back down.

   He heard Robb closing her door and walk to his room. He wanted to know how it went. Was she coming out? Would she open her arms and comfort him at all? Would she cut him out of their lives now that Ned was gone? He breathing became shallow. He felt more alone now. The thought of not being a part of this family, or being welcome at the only home he had ever known, terrified him. The walls started to close in on him. He needed to get out.

   Suddenly, he went straight for Sansa's door. He took a deep breath, and tapped the door with his fingertips. He heard her. He needed to see her. _Now._

 _"Sansa."_ His voice barely above a whisper. 

  " _What_ Jon?" She hissed back at him.

   Unable to move, he took a deep breath and held it. What was he going go do? What would he _say?_ Would they ever be able to get right with one another, or was this it? The same relationship he had with Cat. He couldn't stomach the thought. 

  "Sansa _please."_

Her footsteps were as loud as his heartbeat. The door whipped open, and all the pain he thought he thought he was prepared for was in front of him. It was all on her face. He couldn't bare it, and looked down at his feet. Tears stung his eyes, he shut them, and they fell off his cheeks. 

   Suddenly, her arms were around him. She held him tight, his arms instinctively wrapped around her waist. They both sobbed in eachother's arms. He wanted to kiss her neck, hold her face in his hands, and wipe away her tears. He wanted to take her pain away. He wanted to tell her how much she really meant to him, how miserable he's been since _that night._ He knew he couldn't. Not right now. He kept holding her to keep himself from doing or saying anything inappropriate. Anything natural..for someone you truly loved. 

   They heard footsteps approaching, and broke their hug, like they had been doing something wrong. They both looked at one another. They were a mess. Red eyes, blotchy faces, greasy hair. They stood like that for a moment until Arya walked up and stopped outside Sansa's door. 

  "Morning Sansa. Robbs girlfriend made coffee. You want some? Maybe something to eat too?" 

   Sansa just shook her head. "No thank you, I'm fine."

  "Sansa, _please_ eat something." Jon was insistent. 

   She shrugged. Jon put his hand into hers. She took it. Holding her hand gently, he led her down the stairs. Talisa and the boys were sitting in the living room, watching tv. They looked up, and the boys sprang off the couch, and ran to her, throwing their arms around her neck. She remained holding Jons hand, squeezing tightly, and hugged them back using one arm. 

  "Give her room guys, she needs to _eat."_ Arya said. 

   Bran and Rickon followed them into the kitchen. Arya made quick work of making a small plate of food, before Sansa might change her mind. She put it on the counter, and started pouring juice, when Sansa sat down on the stool, never letting go of his hand. He sat beside her and watched her eat. Relief flooded over him, and he finally breathed. 

   If she needed to get through this day, or her entire life for that matter, by keeping his hand in hers, she would have it. She had _him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I guess I lied about "other characters being in and out". I started writing this chapter and realized how much I needed the siblings to get through this together. Ultimately, this story does center around Jon and Sansa, but in a world where all the Stark children are alive and together as a family, I couldn't resist.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post funeral. Action speaks louder than words, and talking is overrated anyway. Sansa's POV

  She lay in her bed, unable to sleep. Visions of the day, kept flashing through her mind. Her mother, unable to say a word to anyone, she just nodded at their words. Her fathers coffin, the military ceremony, the flag handed to her mother, and the familiar faces of the many people who attended..all of it, like a quick slideshow flashing through her head. She wished she were a drinker, or smoked pot, and in an alternate state of mind. The only thing keeping her from fleeing, was Jon. He never left her side. He sat next to her and held her hand the _entire_ day. She felt that constant contact with him, was the only thing keeping her afloat, and if she let go, she'd sink to the bottom.

  She looked at the clock. 1:20. She sat up in bed and swung her legs over the side. She got to her feet, flung her robe around her shoulders and pushed her arms through. She needed _something_ to help her sleep. She intended to look for a bottle of sleep aid in the bathroom. She tip-toed down the hall and went to the bathroom, closed the door carefully, then turned the light on. The house was quiet. She opened one door of the medicine cabinet after another, and found...nothing. Aspirin. Motrin. Midol. She considered going downstairs to take a few swigs from her parents liquor stash. Disappointed, she turned the light off and started down the hall, and stopped outside of Jon's room. 

  His door was cracked. She let her eyes adjust and peeked in to..she didn't _know_ why she was peeking in, actually. She heard his sleep-breathing, and noticed Ghost sprawled out on the floor by his side. She got closer to the door and accidentally pried it open with her forehead. She cursed to herself then waited for a moment. She had no idea what she was doing. All she knew is that she wanted to calm her mind. She took a deep breath and slowly pushed his door open. Ghost lifted his head up for a second, assessing who it was, and just as quickly lay his head back down. 

  She quietly closed the door completely, and blindly went to the left, making her way to his bed. She stood over him, as the moonlight shine bright enough through his window to watch as he continued to sleep. Untying her robe, she let it fall to the floor, wearing only her tank top and underwear now. She lifted his blanket and slid under the covers next to him and draped  her arm lightly over his stomach. 

  He jerked awake immediately. He lifted his head and he looked at her as she moved her arm up and cupped his mouth with her hand.

 "Jon, don't _say anything._ I cant sleep..I keep replaying this day over in my head, and I can't turn it off. I have no sleep aids. I don't drink, I don't smoke pot, I have nothing to alter my mind. I have _you..only you._ _"_ She bent her forehead down to his cheek, and whispered "Please..please let me _have_ you right now."

  She took her hand off his mouth. His eyes were still wide, his mouth agape. His entire body rigid and tense.

 "Relax Jon. I just..my only intention is peace of mind. You've helped me with that all day. Please don't refuse me _now."_

She felt him relax. He made no move at all, but at least he relaxed. She rested her head on his chest and put her arm back over his stomach. A sigh escaped her lips as she closed her eyes. They slowly melted away, all the unwanted visions and memories of this day that she desperately wanted to forget. She drifted away. 

 

  She woke, feeling his arm around her waist. Her eyes hadn't adjusted to the limited light of the room, so she listened for his breathing. He was sleeping. Her arm still around his waist, she could finally focus on his face. He was exceptionally beautiful. Perfect features. His dark hair draped on the pillow by the side of his face. His mouth, his _beautiful mouth,_ made her _ache._ It was painful that he wasn't hers. Her skin started to warm, and stick to his bare abs. She was afraid to move. She cautiously scooted closer to him. Looking at him was therapeutic. The thoughts racing through her mind _now_ becoming animalistic. 

  She tried to mentally snap to, but her body had different ideas. Her hand moved down his bare skin until her long fingers touched the rim of his boxers. Her pulse was _racing._ She felt his chest heave in a heavy gasp, and kept still, staring into his deep, dark eyes.  He propped his head into the crook of his bent arm and stared back at her. She didn't move. Her hand didn't move. An eternity seemed to pass with no words. She noticed his chest moved slowly, his breathing steady and calm.

  She made a decision. Using the tips of her nails, she lifted the elastic of his boxers. She felt the top of his thick hair, when his hand quickly reached down to stop her. 

 "Sansa." He warned. 

  Her eyes pleaded with him. Neither of them were willing to move. His grip on her wrist did not loosen. She started to fight him anyway, and continue downwards. He fought back. Something in his challenge, made her more determined to continue. She kept trying to fight his grip, but he held firm.

 "Sansa.. _stop."_

She stared at him wide-eyed and shook her head slowly. 

 "You..you're not in you're right frame of mind right now. Please. This isn't right. You _don't_ want to _do_ this." He warned. 

 " _Don't_ I?"

  To this, he looked at her in shock. He didn't know what to make of it. She felt his grip loosen. Heated blood raced through her, she was sure he could feel her racing heart. With his hand still wrapped around her wrist, she tried again to move further, scraping her nails through his mound of hair and suddenly felt it. He was hard. She had her fingers on the head, and made her way down to wrap her hand around his entire length. A low growl came from his closed mouth and his head fell back onto the pillow as he released her wrist entirely. She had no experiences with this, but was _sure_ he was big. It was hard, and warm, and it excited her to her core.  She started to move her hand up and down now. His head arched back on his pillow, and she knew she was doing something he loved feeling. 

  She was more than happy being the one giving him pleasure right now. Her hand pumping a little faster now, his breaths came out faster. He brought his hand up and grabbed a handful of her hair, bringing it up to his face and inhaled it. Little gasps of breath were escaping his lips, and she was so turned on, she felt she could find _her_ release by merely rubbing her thighs together. He was starting to get louder and she knew he was close. Her grip and movement got consistently stronger. She didn't want him to wake anyone so she moved over his face and found his lips with hers. The taste of him, so familiar, dreams and fantasies about kissing him for nearly two years, and as her lips and tongue played with his, she heard her own satisfied moan in his mouth. As she pulled back, she sucked lightly at his bottom lip.

 " _Fuck._.oh god..Sansa.." 

  He thrust into her grasp with a stifling moan, pulsing in her hand and she felt his stomach muscles jerk under her arm. She watched the look of pleasure and pain on his face. _She did this. She satisfied him._ She felt something she hasn't felt in days. _Years,_ she thought. Happiness. She was happy to give him pleasure.

  She pulled her hand from his boxers and leaned back, plucking a few tissues from his nightstand. She hoped he wouldn't want to talk about it, ask her why what just happened, happened. She wanted to touch him down there is all. With everything they were going through, did everything really need to make _sense?_ He finished cleaning the mess he'd made and tossed the  tissues in his wastebasket from where he was. _Good shot Jon._

  Unaware of what to do _now,_ she lay on her back and stared up at the ceiling. He took her hand into his, and brought it up to his lips, kissing it softly. He rolled to lay on his side, propped up on his elbow, and faced her. His head lay on his bicep. She did the same. Unafraid to look at his sweet face. She put her finger on his lips and spoke in a whisper.

 "Don't _say_ anything Jon." He just nodded his head. Good. He's not going to be stubborn.

  He put his left arm up and rested in on her hip. Then something she _didn't_ expect, he forced her with his arm to push her to lay back. She didn't know what was coming, but as long as it wasn't him kicking her out of this bed, her body was ready for it. He got up to straddle her. She was wide eyed. What was he doing? He hopped down, put his feet on the floor, and stood over her. _Shit._ He _is_ kicking her out. Her heart sank..until he put both arms underneath her body, to scoop her slightly off the bed, and moved her to _his_ side, then he laid back down, getting into the same position _she_ was in moments ago, his body facing hers on his side.

  His right hand rested on her stomach. _He was going to return the favor._ Fuck, she didn't expect this at all. Or maybe she did, or wished it. Definitely _wished_ it. His face came closer to hers. She thought he was coming in to kiss her, but he pressed his lips lightly to her ear. He didn't move. He didn't say anything. She was beginning to wonder if he _would_ do anything. She imagined being this close to him a million times. Dreamed of him being inside her. Fantasies of Jon were never in short supply. His lips still trembled on her earlobe. The he slid his fingers underneath her tank top and moved his hand up to her nipple. Using his thumb and index finger to pinch her hard nipples gently. He moved over to her other breast and did the same. 

  Using his forearm to lift her shirt, his lips left her earlobe, to put his mouth around her nipple and suck softly. Like French kissing it. He went to her other breast and did the same. He was being so gentle with her, and it was driving her _crazy._ It was exactly what she wanted. He brought his face back near hers and grazed his lips, once again, by her ear. He mimicked _her_ move with his fingers at the elastic top of her panties. Her heart started thumping. She'd never gone this far with anyone yet. Her chest moved up and down with heavy breathing, when she felt his lips move on her ear. The sensation of it!

 "You once told me _exactly_ what you wanted from me." He whispered. His breath hot in her ear, and she felt a soft kiss on her lobe. 

  _Wait. What?!_ Everything was racing now. Her heart. Her mind. The memory of _that night_ she never wanted to think about again, racing through her mind. Before she could think to even respond, his hand slipped under the elastic of her panties, and he was threading his fingers through her thatch of hair. What is _happening._ She felt like she was in a fight or flight situation..and then his fingers reached the top of her clit. _Oh god._ She wouldn't fight _or_ flight. She was here as long as he was _there._ He curled his finger and slid through her folds, sliding them easily into her wet cunt. She was almost embarrassed by how wet she was. She was slick. She could _hear_ how wet she was. He didn't seem to mind at all, in fact, she felt his lips move and he moaned in her ear. It made her more hot just hearing him.

 "Jesus, you're so wet Sansa." He pulled his finger out and moistened his thumb so that he could get both spots. Using his index finger to pump slowly, gently, in and out of her, he kept his thumb flat and moved it just as slowly and gently, up and down her clit. 

  She'd never been fingered by anyone before, just her _own_ fingers, and _this_ was _waaaay_ better. She gripped his hair from the back of his head, and the edge of the bed sheets with her other hand. Her heels were digging into his mattres while her whole body writhed. His pace started to get slower for some reason, and she whimpered. 

 "I'm not ready for you to cum yet Sansa. I could look at the aching pleasure on your face forever." His voice in her ear got her very close to _just_ that. She brought her head up to his chest, and tried to _will_ him to bring her to satisfaction. 

 "Jon." She begged. Realizing that this was a two way street. 

  He was still fingering her slowly, her body longing for release from the building ache. She brought her lips up to _his_ ear. Whereas Jon's whispers were confident and aggressive, hers came out in a desperate, whimper. 

 "You _remember_...don't you." As she asked she put _her_ hand back under his shorts, and gripped him tightly. Matching her pumps with his thrusts, just as slowly.

  He kept his fingers working inside her. She wasn't sure he would answer her, but she moved her hand up and down all the while. He backed away his head, so he could look into her eyes. 

 "Yes." And came in to kiss her. She kissed him back with the passion she'd felt entirely too long for him. In desperation, his  answer hit her with another wave of emotion and she felt a tear rolling down the side of her face.  

  Their hands both started to work quicker. Jon slid a second finger inside her, and moved his thumb faster up and down her clit. She started to feel her peak coming. Her hands and feet felt clammy as she got hotter, and a familiar rise was building. Their breaths in sync, getting faster, hotter and harder.

 "Jon..I'm..oh god I'm gonna.."

 "Me too Sansa." He choked.

  Her body finally came undone, the intense orgasm sending waves of pleasure pulsing through her body. He didn't last much longer as he throbbed in her hand, groaning softly in her ear as she felt his cum in her grip. Her walls tightened around his fingers, and she moaned short gasps onto his chest. she still shuddered as his fingers continued to move slowly inside her. 

  They lay there for a minute, with their hands down one another's underwear, both smiling. First smile she's seen in years. He rolled overup and picked up a small towel and handed it to her, for her hand.. _again._ She sat up in bed and got to her knees to throw her arms around his neck. He held her tightly around her waist with his strong arms, making her feel safe from the entire world. They stayed in the embrace for a long time, until she finally leaned her head up to his ear.

 "I love you Jon, and I _know_ you love me." 

  She pulled away quickly and lept of the bed, tip-toeing back to her room. She shut her door quietly, lay down, and when she shut her eyes, his face is what she saw before sleep overtook her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so maybe there was a little talking. Hope you enjoyed the little bit of smut. And don't presume it's all roses and champagne from here. They have to work shit out, Thanks so much for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're not done. Jons POV from the following morning. More smuttiness.

  

 

  Jon woke hours later. He rubbed his eyes with both hands and looked straight at the ceiling. Images of what had just taken place hours ago, flashing through his head. He covered his face with his hand, inhaling the faint scent of Sansa still on his fingers. His morning hard-on throbbing, he closed his eyes and concentrated, trying to _will_ it away. The house was silent. No one stirring about their morning routines yet. Closing his eyes is a mistake it seems, for thoughts of what transpired in this very bed, become more vividly clear. Her bare hand over his stomach. Her sweet smelling hair under his nose. Her nails sneakily trailing under his waistband. Her hand on his...

  Suddenly, he shoved his hand below the sheets, wrapped it around his cock and started stroking slowly. He'd pleasured himself many times with thoughts of her on his mind, but never had _actual_ material to work with. The smell of her was still _on him,_ he knew this wouldn't take long, recalling the memory of Sansa's own hand moving rapidly, her touch, her sweet, gasps, her hard nipples rubbing against his chest, her nearly naked body trembling with desire, covered in a clammy sweat. Grinding against his hips with her pelvis, her bare leg writhing over his, trying to get closer..and closer.

  Heat moved quickly, building his stomach, rushing down, down..Jesus, laying her down. His lips grazing her ear, whispering,  sliding his inside her. _Fuck,_ _she was so hot..so wet._ Her desire to take back some control and shoving her hand down his shorts again to stroke him off for a _second_ time. Her lips seeking his! short, panting breaths nearing her peak. Their bodies  moving in sync up to the very end. Her soft moans reverberating through the tiny hairs in his ears, the sound..the wet sound as he slowly slipped his fingers out of her. 

  He pumps harder, snatching a pillow for his face, he Chokes out Her name. He sees her face, her face as she came, and feels the warmth spill onto his stomach. He lay there for a moment, feeling spent..satisfied..and _shame._ The pillow over his face felt the proper punishment for refusing to stop what happened last night, but the blackness only seemed to stir _more_ visions. He swung the pillow across the room in frustration, and with bated breath, rose from his bed and grabbed his towel to clean himself. 

 " _You once told me exactly_ what you wanted from me."   " _I'm not ready for you to cum yet Sansa._ "  " _You rememberdon't you._ "   

 "Yes." He almost repeats aloud from memory.

_"I love you Jon, I never stopped."_

  She ruined him. No other woman stood a _chance._ He may have only been 20, and his whole life was still in front of him..but _Sansa_ would be the only woman he would _ever..._

  What the actual _fuck_ was he _thinking?_ He spent two years, and a shattered, lonely heart, keeping the truth _from_ her, for her sake. She was just still a girl. She spoke grown woman _words,_ but a girl nonetheless. He _lied_ to her. Sacrificed his own happiness for her. Kept the charade of cold exchanges during visits back home. For _TWO YEARS._ He couldn't fathom the thought of how his father, her mother, their _siblings,_ would react had they knew the truth.

  His chest started tightened at the thought of Robb finding out that he'd had his fingers in his sister's sweet... _fuck Jon STOP._ He jerked his closet door open and grabbed clothes to take with him to the shower. He caught site of his blankets and wrinkled sheets. He dropped his clothes and rushed to the bed to pull them off and bundle them up. He caught the scent of sex, _both_ their sex, and felt a pit in his stomach. This happened, how he'd deal with it from here..he had no idea, but the thought of _anyone_ finding out what happened last night, wasn't as terrifying as wanting more.

  He had to throw his bedding in the washer. He opened his door and looked both ways, leaned his body out to listen for anyone upstairs or down. He heard nothing. Not even the dogs. He looked back at Ghost, half-wanting to apologize to the beast for what he'd witnessed last night, but Ghost just cocked his head, and sat there panting at him. If Ghost trampled behind him, he'd make noise with his collar tags, so he made a gesture for him to stay. Like the in-sync, mind reading dog, that Jon had raised, pride swelled inside him, as Ghost did exactly that. _My dog picks up that I'm trying to be a sneaky bastard right now._

He ran down the hall on the balls of his feet as fast as he could. Realizing not only did he _feel_ like an idiot, he looked like one as well. He was wearing boxers, he'd cum thrice in, he had sex hair, _smelled_ of sex, and was running down the stairs with his arms full of his blanket and sheets. For _what purpose_ should someone ask? He'd more likely lie and say he had an accident, or peed on himself before telling the actual truth. He rounded the corner to the tiled kitchen, and froze in _horror._

Talisa stood there reaching for the coffee pot, her hand stopping as she saw him. The look of guilt and shock must've been _very_ clear on his face. He felt hot in his face, and _knew_ he was as red as Sansa's hair. He quickly lowered the bundle of bedding over his boxers and swallowed to relieve his painfully dry throat before he spoke. 

 "I..I didn't think anyone was up yet...I was just gonna throw these in the washer." His voice barely above a whisper. He didn't need to wake anyone else to _add_ to this humiliating moment. 

 "I was just gonna get coffee on..don't mind me." She grinned back at him and continued with her intended task, as he continued with _his._ He stuffed the bundle in the washer and shoved both blankets _and_ sheets in, knowing he might offset the spinner by overloading it, which would cause it to violently shake, but he didn't give a shit. He needed these sheets out of his _life_ right now. He threw the soap bottle upside down, letting more than the suggested "cupful" of liquid, splash atop the pile. He turned the knob to a random setting, shut the lid, closed the door to the laundry and ran back through the kitchen. 

 "I'm in the shower if anyone asks Tal." He said whipping past her. 

 "Sure thing Jon." Her voice behind him. 

  He grabbed his clothes from his room and lept into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He was out of breath. His heart beating out of his chest. _I'm so fucked. I'm just..fucked._ Nothing he could do about it now. He turned around and started the shower. The hot water pouring over his head, he ran his fingers through it and down his face. After he washed his hair, he stood under the water, letting it cascade over his body. He placed his flat palm on the wall and bowed under the shower head. _Her body._ His eyes flashed open. Was he incapable of closing his eyes without thinking about her? He bowed his head again. The warm water washing away the past two days. Relaxing him. _His fingers inside her._ His eyes snapped open again and he grunted with anger at himself. 

  Their father just passed. They acted impulsively. She just needed to feel something other than grief...pain. Was he stupid enough to think that _they_ were the _only two people_ in the entire _world,_ to deal with their grief by doing something irrational and stupid? Where is _anyone's_ head when they are in so much pain? In grief, people have drunk themselves to unconsciousness. Injected, inhaled, snorted, smoked and swallowed any and all drugs they could get their hands on. Refused to leave their beds. Slipped into deep depression. And yes, had strangers, acquaintances, enemies, coworkers, friends, and even _family_ in their beds to help dull the pain of their loss. 

  But he already loved her. And she loved _him._ Damn. His  _own mind_ was torturing him.

  _Bang bang bang!_

  Three loud fist bursts beating on the door, startling Jon so bad he nearly slipped and fell. His whole body flinched.

 "What the hell?!" Jon roared.

  He heard Arya giggle from the other side. "Other people have to use the bathroom Jon!" He heard someone else's laughter, Bran's. Damn those two. He could've just _died._

 _"_ Use downstairs'! And thanks guys! Almost just killed myself, but whatever." His voice trailed off at the mention of death, but heard the two of them laughing outside the door, and relaxed..grateful to hear the sound of their laughter. 

 "Pipe down brother, Tal told us you were in the shower we just wanted to have a go at you."

  He turned the water off, unwilling to have a conversation through the damn door. He hated that. 

 "She's making breakfast, so get dressed and come down before there's nothing left!" Brans voice cracked. 

 "I'll be down soon, give me a minute!" He hissed.

  He heard their footsteps walking away. He stepped out and dried himself off. He was clean..but didn't feel _cleansed._ It was too hot and steamy to put on his clothes, without them clinging to his body, so he wrapped his towel around his waist and opened the door. The cool air hit him, and gave him goosebumps. His nipples hardened. His clothes in his hand, he walked to his room and shut his door. Ghost was no longer there, and he assumed the kids had put food in their bowls. He _felt_ movement behind him, and spun around quickly. 

  Sansa. His mouth dropped. 

 "Sansa!" He breathed. He stared at her in disbelief.  "Were you standing behind my _door?"_

  She took two soft steps toward him and raised her finger to his open lips. Her eyes intensely focused on his, he saw fire in them. He was growing under his towel, and cursed his body for not being able to control itself. She removed her finger from his lips, and replaced it with her own. Her wet tongue entering his mouth, he grunted. His cock at full attention now. She kissed him passionately, as both their breathing became heavier. Hotter. Her tongue..God damn it.

 "Sansa." He gasped in between kisses. "Sansa.. _stop."_ He gripped her shoulders and forced her back. He was panting. 

 "San, everyone is up now. They're expecting us down any moment." His eyes _pleaded_ with her. 

  Before another thought could escape his lips, or words could come out, Sansa pulled at the towel and got down on her knees. She took his cock into her mouth before he had time to realize what was happening.

 "Oh fuck." He whined.

  His eyes rolled back, and his teetered steps backed him to the wall while her mouth followed him. She had her hands around his thighs, gripping tighter as she pulled him forward, deeper. He barely breathed as he looked down, and saw her beautiful red hair, and just below, his cock disappearing in and out of her soft, plump mouth. He lowered his hand, to put grab her hair, but she looked up at him. His chest held breath seeing her eyes staring up at him as he was inside her mouth. She moaned and started to go faster. Using her index finger and thumb to encircle the top of his shaft, she tightened her grip and continued sucking. He twisted a handful of her hair, softly thrusting to meet her mouth, he felt he would explode.

 "Fuck. Oh god..ahhh Sansa, _fuck."_ He groaned, hissing inhaled breath between his teeth.

  Her fingers continued to work up and down, as her mouth plopped off his head "Yes Jon.." She moaned and tightened her grip,Jons ass was being pulled from the wall as her mouth sunk lower. Not wanting to overwhelm her, he tried to resist, until he felt he pull him forward with more strength. He heard the noises of her slurping mouth on him, and felt the vibration of her moaning around his throbbing cock, as she moved more quickly now. He felt that rushing heat and ache for release approaching. 

 "Sansa. Oh God San, I'm comi.." He hadn't finished saying it when, she grasped him tightly and stayed, still going up and down.He was coming into her mouth, and she kept it there, swallowing until his pulses stilled in her mouth. His stomach muscles done with their spasms, he opened his eyes, and felt dizzy, his legs shaky and weak. Her lips slid off his head, and he released her hair. She picked up his towel, and stood up, meeting his eyes with a stare into his animal self. She used the towel to wipe the corners of her mouth, like she just had a big juicy steak at a fancy restaurant. Jon stared in disbelief. He was so dumbfounded, he couldn't conjur up words. 

 "See you downstairs." She grinned, turned, and walked out his door.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just untagged "slow build". Who was I kidding. I had every intention of doing a slow build kind of story..but then..they DID stuff. Look, I KNOW what *I* like to read..I love them so much, that if you put any Jonsa story in front of me, I'm GONNA read it. However, when an author throws in smut after some good plot, my insides do a little happy dance. So..I'm just rolling with it. Thank you for all kudos and, as if you haven't heard this before..I live off compliments. In TRW I'm a Chef..and I think I got into THAT business, for the compliments. :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Stark outing. Jon and Sansa of COURSE have some alone time..

  Sansa walked to the bathroom, and leaned against the door until it closed. She brought her fingers up to her lips and held her nails between her teeth, as she thought of what she'd just done to Jon. The heat did not stop throbbing between her legs. She was smiling to herself. He was her first thought upon waking. She stretched out and smiled remembering his desire. She hasn't stopped _wanting_ to smile. Since...since when. _Since I touched him._

This is all because of his first touch. Sansa thought of the boys she'd let touch her since she even knew what it meant. No one she'd dated, or even had a semi-flirtatious relationship with, had affected her before or since, Jon put his hands on her. She'd been screwed ever since. How do you _move on_ after _THAT._  Once he sunk his claws into her skin, she was hooked? Is that his power? She'd been through this at least a thousand times in her head for two years, and she was tired of fucking _thinking._  What she just _did.._ and what she did _last night_ , was something that she needed. It felt good. She wanted to feel the power she had over Jon. He wanted her and could not help himself, giving in, begging for more, eager, so very eager to please her. 

  She took a shower thinking of the next moment she'd see his face. He was truly shocked. He hadn't expected this. Having him in her mouth..it was out of his control. She wanted control, and always assumed, that what she did last night, was something that the man was in control of. It was nowhere near the truth. She may have been on her knees, but _he_ was the one who begged. The thought of his cock filling her mouth as she hungrily licked and sucked, she pumped soap onto her pouf and bit her lip. Lathering her body, she was generous between her legs.

  Tingles gathered at her core as she let the pouf fall from her fingers, closing her eyes she slid her hand lower until her middle finger slipped across her clit. She was so sensitive, the taste of him still on her tongue. She rubbed two fingers flat up and down and then slipped them inside, deep enough to feel euphoric as all blood rushed to her cunt, pulsing around her fingers.

  The sound of Jon's groans. His hips moving. His hard cock in her mouth, pleasing him more, moving his hips in rhythm of what he wanted more of. It made her so hot, she slid her middle finger inside her, and rolled the other one over her clit, in a rythym she started to roll into. Rubbing her thighs together she turned to the wall to cower. Her forehead pressed against it, she rode her fingers, bringing her right thigh up, to rest her foot on the corner. Moving at a furious pace, she gasped as release throbs around her fingers. Her stomach tensed and waves of pleasure pulsed through her body. 

  She had caught her breath, and finsished her shower. 

 

                                     --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  

  She dressed for summer. She felt beautiful this morning and wanted to show it. She didn't feel like a child, she felt like a woman.. _his_ woman. Sansa wanted to look good for him, loving the ways his eyes focused on her, making her feel like the only woman he'd ever look at _that way._ It crept into her mind that she should be mourning, and grieving the way _normal_ people do, rather than lusting after her cousin. Sansa's heart ached at the thought of her father. She was shattered, but she still felt like her "daddy's girl." Her father made her feel like she could be herself..at all times, and she was who she _was_ because of it. She had tenacity, strength, a sense of pride, a gift of seeing the whole picture. She was much like her father, and so was _he._ She couldn't make sense of _anything "_ normal" right now. Whatsoever. Normal was all bullshit as far as she was concerned.

 

She decided on a creme colored floral dress with cap sleeves. She brushed her hair back and let it fall behind her neck. Dabbing nude gloss on her lips, she opened the door and left her room for downstairs. When she rounded the corner, she was bombarded by faces. Everyone. Even her mother..trying to hold herself together for their sake. Then her eyes scan _him._ He's in the booth with a cup of coffee in his hand, looking down at his untouched plate of breakfast. His eyes reluctant to meet hers, she was suddenly reminded how terrible a liar Jon was. He had _no_ acting skills..better to keep his head down. 

 "You hungry Sansa?" Talisa's voice taking her away from gazing.

 "A little. Maybe just a small plate?" 

 "No problem..coffee?" 

 "Sure..I'll get it though. I use my own creamer." Sansa said, as she stepped in to get a cup out. 

  From the side of her eye, she saw Jon walk into the laundry room. He put stuff in the dryer, and started it.

 "So..Robb was saying something about Bear Island and some camping and canooing you guys used to do out there. Anybody up to going for the night?" Talisa said with her lips slightly flinched. Jon stopped dead in his tracks.

  The Starks looked at eachother and contemplated. It had been years since Sansa was invited to one of their trips. And this would be everyone. Her eyes shot at her mother and saw her hesitance. 

 "It...sounds like a wonderful idea Talisa. I would love for you all to go..but..I'm..just..not.." Catelyn's voice trailed off. 

 "Sansa put her hand on top of her Mom's and squeezed. She looked into her moms eyes and saw her pleading for escape.

 "It's okay mother..if you don't object to it, us kids will disappear for a night and come back tomorrow by lunch..is that alright?" Sansa's eyes remained on hers. Her mother looked relieved. Sansa knew she just wasn't ready for that yet. Her mom managed a smile. Bran and Rickon came to hug her and bury their heads on her shoulders. Arya was close behind. 

 "Are you sure Mother? We can stay. I mean..you're _okay_ with being _alone?"_ Robb said tenderly.

 "You guys _go._ I'll be okay..I like to think of you all being together." She hesitated. Her eyes went from child to child. "I know it seems like I won't be. Maybe I never _will_ be..but..I want you _all_ to keep being their for each other. It's hard to explain..but I'd rather be alone..even though it comforts me that you're together.." She threw her hands up. She said more than she had in days, and anyone could see she was overwhelmed. Sansa squeezed her hand and tapped the top with the other.

 "Sansa..ill be okay..go. Enjoy being with your brothers and sisters." 

  She said it, and Sansa realized she had one sister..perhaps one more by marriage soon? She looked at Talisa..her eyes warm, and loving, waiting for the word, that Sansa was apparently deciding.

 "Let's do it guys. Let's get out of here for the night..Stark style." Sansa tried to smile for everyone, but it didn't ring true until she looked at Jon, and he met her eyes.

 

  Robb doled out duties to all of them, and after packing up the Jeep and Cat's minivan, they were ready to leave by 10:00. The Jeep carried the canoes and bulk of the gear, and the kids were in the van..which left Jon and Sansa to drive the Jeep. Robb and Jon talked about the plan, and Sansa got behind the wheel to start it up. Catelyn watched as they got in the cars and drove off.

  There they were. Alone. Neither willing to look each other in the eye, and Sansa wondering who'd speak first. She followed Robb closely but slowly. She picked up her phone and swiped to her playlist.

 "Woah San..what are you doing?"

 "I need some music Jon."

 "What's wrong with the radio?"

 "I wanna listen to _my_ music."

  He grabbed her phone from her, as she whined in protest.

 "Which station do you want?" He was scrolling down her Pandora stations.

 "Put it on the Black Keys for me." She heard no sigh of complaint, and I Got Mine started playing on the speakers. A few seconds later, she heard a text chime. "Who is it?"

  He was still reading and swiped his hand in the air. "It's Robb..they're going to the store to get snacks and stuff for s'mores. He said they'll be at the river after."

  She gripped the steering wheel tighter and realized...they'd be alone. He had no choice _now._

  They drove the trail to their spot, and she pulled to the right, facing the river. She backed up to the shade under the big tree, and put it in park. She smacked her hands on the wheel and sighed.

 "Okay..lets get this party started." They started unpacking their gear and organizing things to each pair. It would be Robb/Talisa, Bran/Rickon/Jon and Sansa/Arya. She wasn't willing to start the tent work, that wasn't her thing. She would wait until the majority arrived. "What can I do..it's going to take them a while." Jon nodded, and looked brooding in thought. She was acting so superficial and he was refusing to call her on it. Anything to avoid _talking._  

 "I dunno..maybe..gather some wood?"

 "Sure..I'll do that then." She said shortly. She walked into the woods, shaking her head at his attitude. He was so stupid. He would have to face this _sometime._ She started getting angry at him, for...for his actions..just _whatever!_ She was pissed. Had she expected him to race into her arms and kiss her, professing his undying love, after what they'd just _done..NO._  But he could have at _least_ acknowledged...

  She heard footsteps behind her, and whipped around to see him. Standing there..with that _conflicted_ fucking look on his face. It frustrated her. Why couldn't he just _say_ it. Give in to what he _felt_  and just fucking _admit_ it? Why were they playing this stupid game? It was _infuriating!_ She felt, she looked slightly disgusted with him. Maybe it came off that way, because his eyes lowered. No. Just _No._

  She walked until their faces almost touched. Her eyes bore down on him.

 "What. _What_ Jon." His eyes met hers, and she waited for him to speak. "Say something Jon. God dammit..say _something."_

 "What do you want to _hear."_ He started slowly. "You want to know it _all_ , don't you." 

  Sansa could only look at him, with a dread in her stomach. She _did_ want to know. What if it wasn't everything she wanted to _know_ though? And if it _was.._ how would they _ever_ be able to work it out. How could they _be together._

 "Sansa..I.." He swallowed hard before he spoke again. " _Do not_ think that I don't love you. I do. You _know_ what's holding me back."

  She couldn't believe what she was hearing. He _still_ refused to come clean. To open his heart. 

 "What happened between us Jon?!" He looked away. "No. No, you don't get to look away. _Look at me..._ answer me." She pleaded. 

 "Sansa that..that was.." He paused. "..in the moment. Just..a spontaneous.." She was already shaking her head.

 "No! No it wasn't Jon!" She grabbed his hands, her eyes desperate. "The moment your lips touched mine, you loved me. You wanted me. You _burned_ for me. As I did _you_ Jon! I _wanted_ you. I have not stopped wanting you. My body has _craved_ yours. I have not been happy with another person since two years ago. I went along with a _lie.._ for two _miserable_ years because I thought you didn't remember! It _crushed_ me Jon..I've been numb..pacing through my life, and keeping up a ridiculous charade..and here..at the lowest point of my life, the _only person_ who pulls me out of the abyss, and makes me feel _alive.._ " 

  His hands reached for her face and his lips were on hers. Her arms wrapped tightly his neck. She pushed herself as close to him as his body would allow. His kiss was deep, his tongue tasting hers, strong in her mouth. Their grunted moans escaping for the first time, unadulterated. Nature surrounded them, not a houseful of people. Hearing the _sound_ of his mouth kissing hers was enough to get her hot. His lips traced the side of her face, up to her ear, and desperately whispered.

 "I'm a god damned fool Sansa. Iwant you _all_ the time. I've never even been with anyone, the way I've been with you. I want to be with you all the time. I can't stop _wanting_ you." His tongue on her neck. He nips at it with his teeth. He slowly works his way back to her ear. "I want to be _be inside_ you Sansa..my tongue, my fingers..my.." He thrust his groin against her, and she felt him..hard. "I _want you."_  

  She threw her head back, and felt relief. Him saying that, it was enough to send a shot of pure excitement right between her legs. She was dripping wet, and her body cried out for him to do something to it. As if he read her mind, he reached under her dress, between her thighs and pulled her panties straight down. She quickly stepped out of them. His face was suddenly between her legs, and before she knew it, she felt his warm tongue licking her clit. His 5 day beard, soft and teasing her thighs. She gasped in, and started to fall back. He steadied her, and pushed her back to a tree behind them. Her hands went to his head, gripping his black hair, as his tongue was circling her bud.

  He spread her thighs further apart, and his face went lower. He replaced his tongue with his thumb on her clit, and licked her down until he shot it up her hole. _How was he so good at pleasing a woman if he's never been with one?_ She thought, but he was driving her _insane_ with pleasure. He mimicked her going down on _him,_ by moaning, as his tongue lapped her up and down. She could feel his moan _inside.._ a vibration that started the heat building up in her stomach.

 "Don't stop Jon..oh..oh _GOD, Please..don't...stop."_ The harder she panted, the faster he licked her. He slid two fingers inside her and tongued her clit. His tongue flat and going up and down with such force, she thought she might cry. Her moans might be heard for miles. She ached to be released.

 "Fuck Sansa.." She heard him groan, and she moved faster on his mouth, nearly riding his face. She seized up, and gripped two handfuls of his hair to keep him where he was, while she shuttered against him. Her stomach jerking under her dress, his hand still around her ass, she rode the wave of orgasm, until she felt weak in the knees. He lifted her dress to come from underneath and stood up. He met her eyes, and gave her that _smile. That damn smile._ The only smile that could make you happy _and_ break your heart at the same time.  How could she _not love him? Just look at him._ He made her feel so good. 

  He kissed her slowly, and sweetly. She was still panting, the hard breaths through her nose, she moaned with wont and satisfaction. He amazed her. She was _amazed. What he just did?_ Amazing. Damn. She already wanted more. She started to kiss him more passionately, when they heard the sound of a car approaching.  Shit. They couldn't be seen..but they were nervous nonetheless. Her face was undoubtedly flush. He smelled...well, like _her._ He leaned down to get her panties, and rose to meet her eyes. He used them to wipe her off his scruffy beard and lips and handed them back to her with shit-eating grin on his face. 

 "Why you fucking-" she was about to hit him, when they heard Robb calling their names. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon and Sansa's first time.

  Jon and Sansa quickly made their way back to meet the others. Jon looked back at Sansa and flashed her a smirk. He could still smell her on his face, his fingers. He'd best keep his distance until he could get to the water. Robb, Talisa and the rest, all got out and started unpacking. Sansa, looking slightly shaky in the knees, helped..with some small things. Jon smiled as he and Robb started unloading their camping gear. When Jon made eye contact with Robb, his face froze. He realized he had just been caught _observing_ Sansa, and smiling like he was..

 "What's going on with you two?" Jon's stomach dropped. Certain looks you can explain. Then there's the way he looked at _her._ It was the look of a lover. Robb must have looked at Talisa that way a hundred times, and here he was..

 "N-Nothing." Jon stuttered. Robb's eyes didn't shift.

 "No, don't give me that shit. Not now. How did you pull her out of it? What did you say?"

 "I don't want to talk about that Robb."

  Jon looked down and walked off to throw the tents down. He looked up and saw Talisa put her arm around Robb's waist and turn him around to follow her. Robb's eyes, finally peeling away from Jon's. Fuck. How careless was he being? Why did he let his guard down at all? The family had personally seen the two of them barely speak for two years, and now..its _his_ hand she held through all of it. Her body in his arms. Her mouth.. _Jesus Jon, stop. There is absolutely no way of explaining whatever this is, to Robb..NOW._  He couldnt stop thinking of her. His mind _consumed._

Every time he looked at her, he felt fluttering in his stomach. He wanted to touch her always. Breathe her. Kiss her lips, put his lips _on her.._ everywhere. His groin was starting to ache, and he quickly finished unloading the Jeep, and started putting up the tents. Keeping busy was the best way he could think, to stop constantly look over at Sansa. He snuck a peek here and there. She flipped her sandals off to wade in the water with Talisa, who was also wearing a sundress. What a lovely sight she was. The sun beaming down on her flaming red hair, her soft white skin, her eyes gleaming from the waters' reflection. He couldn't concentrate on the task at hand. 

   Bran and Rickon walked over and started helping. 

  "You've been over here the whole time working on one knot Jon?" Their laughter echoed in the trees. Jon laughed with them, and threw the ties down.  

  "I guess I'm not that motivated to put these damn things up..think you can handle it?" They both nodded and waved him off.

  Robb had unfolded their small table and started unfolding their lounge chairs. He sank into the biggest, most worn out chair.. _father's chair,_ and reached in the cooler for a beer. He looked up at Jon and tipped the can. Jon nodded, as Robb underhand tossed it to him. The clicks of tabs and a raise of their drinks they said "To father" in unison and threw their heads back to take a long sip. They swallowed hard and both looked down. Their father would have loved to know they were here. It was a rare occasion indeed, that Sansa came out with them. And his future daughter in law. Jon took a deep, silent breath, and thought of the things Ned would ever be a part of. It was too much to think about. Jon made his way to a chair and sank down in it, next to his brother.

 "You two leave the boys to men's work, and sit around drinking beer all afternoon? Is that the plan?" Sansa's voice came from behind. They both turned around to defend themselves, but Sansa was already grabbing a beer out of the cooler.

 "Sansa!" Robb yelled. 

 "Oh let her have a drink Robb. She'll be a graduate next week, and after this week.." Talisa's voice trailed off. She turned to stop Sansa before she took a sip, and said "But not _that_ Sansa. I bought a bottle of Chardonnay at the store. We can drink that and leave the men their beer." Robb shot her a look of warning. Talisa held firm. She corkscrewed the bottle and poured them into plastic cups, and sat with them to sip on their spirits. Soon, the boys finished pitching the tents, and joined them. Arya was telling stories of her childhood friends, and Jon and Robb started working the fire as dinner time neared. Their plan was to grill hot dogs on the fire, and almost everyone had their preference in chips, so they had laid out 5 different bags on the table. 

  Jon stared at Sansa repeatedly. She was quiet, but had a small satisfied smile on her face. A few times, her eyes met his, and the look changed, making his insides melt. She had disarmed him. Of course Robb had noticed something, because Jon's defenses were down, and he was engrossed with Sansa. It was very hard to hide, and perhaps a part of him didn't _want_ to hide his god damn feelings anymore. Like a thief or murderer who started slipping because a part of them wanted to get caught, Jon was ready to face the world, announcing his love for Sansa, and face the consequences. But not _tonight_. 

  They sat and talked, long past sundown. There were moments of silence as well and they all stared into the fire, listening to the crackling noises, but then Arya or Rickon would start talking and making them laugh again. Sansa and Talisa finished the bottle of wine an hour ago, and now Sansa was nursing a beer. Her eyes looked heavy, her head bobbing, she finally looked up.

 "I'm going to go lay down..goodnight guys..I love you all." She said with a teeter. "Oh, which one's mine?"

  Jon's mouth started to open, but Robb beat him to it. "The one in the front there San..you need help?" 

 "No big brother, I got this. She hiccuped. They all burst out laughing as she stumbled away. Jon watched her go into the tent. He wanted to follow her. He longed to be next to her, and couldn't stand the thought of her being alone, even in her tipsy state. _Especially in her tipsy state._  Jon shook the thought out of his head. The rest of them sat and quietly talked for two more hours, before they all expressed it was time to get some sleep. Jon was suppose to take the biggest tent with the boys, and let Robb and Talisa have the other. Arya started to follow the boys into theirs. Jon and Robb stopped in their tracks. 

 "Wait..Arya, what are you doing?" 

 "Sheesh Robb..we're not ready to sleep yet..were teenagers! We brought games and shit to play while the old people go to sleep..it's what we _do."_

 _"_ Well, where's Jon suppose to sleep?" Arya looked at Robb, then to Jon.

 "Aw hell Jon..sorry, you wanna play cards against humanity with us?" 

 "Not really, I'm kind of beat." 

 "Well..sleep in my tent then. It's a four man tent anyways, there's plenty of room." Jon's eyes shifted and he felt Robb's eyes on him. 

 "It's fine Robb." Jon assured him. He saw Talisa forcefully tug at his arm, hooked around hers. Jon watched him reluctantly go into their tent together, and heard soft words coming from her, unable to quite make them out. Robb shot one more curious glance over his shoulder and bowed his head down, following his fiancé. The kids were already giggling and talking, and Jon saw their lamp glowing, making out all three silhouettes in their tent. What a sight. The three of them seemed closer these past days, it was a comforting feeling. 

  He stared straight forward now, to the opening of Sansa's tent. His stomach in knots. He took a breath and lifted the flap, quietly entered, and turned to zip it up. He let his eyes adjust to the dark and saw Sansa sprawled out over both palettes. _Well, this will be tricky._ He took a step, and kneeled down, swinging around carefully to sit. He took his shoes off, lay them in the corner, and fell back onto the pillow next to her head. He stayed fully clothed, as she was. He knew she was hard at sleep, if her breathing was any indication. She was almost snoring. Jons thoughts refused to turn dirty, he'd never sleep otherwise. His arms went up, and lifted his head to lay on his palms. He stared at the top of the tent until his heavy lids closed.

 

  His breathing became erratic, a heavy feeling on his chest, as though it were being crushed. He woke in a sweat, with Sansa in his ear.

 "Shhhh..shhh Jon it's just a nightmare." She whispered. 

  She was straddling him. Her body was on him, her breasts pressed into his chest, her face so close to his. He realized they were in perfect sync, if not for their clothes. She was wiping his head of sweat, and cooing in his ear. His breathing slowed and he started to feel himself grow underneath her. He let out a small moan. 

 "Fuck. Sansa what.."

 "You were having a nightmare, I tried to nudge you awake, but you thrashed a bit, so I got on top of you to hold you, and calm you down.." She said softly in his ear. "Are you okay Jon?"

  He bit his lip, his buldge fully erect now, and laying flat against his stomach, with her on top of it. He knew she felt him. Every inch of him. "I-I'm fine Sansa, thank you." She was face to face with him now, a breath away from his lips. She shifted herself down a bit on his hard on, he hissed at her. He was aching. He lifted his pelvis up and drove it at her core. She purred at his lips.

 "Sansa, this is _insane."_

 _"_ Maybe so. All I know is, I love it. I love the feel of you. It's all I think about, touching you..kissing you.." He raised his head to kiss her and she continued teasing him with her soft words, as she was slowly grinding up and down his cock. "I want to be touching you _all the time_. I can not stop staring, I can not stop _wanting_  you. I have had enough pretending to barely know one another." She was in his ear again. "I want you inside me. I want you to be my first..and I want you to be my _last."_

He moaned in protest, at the thought of taking her virtue in a tent, surrounded by their siblings, and wanting her as badly. His mind in conflict, she suddenly kissed him deeply. Her tongue starving for his. He mumbled "to hell with it" and kissed her back. The tongues worked furiously, their lips wet, their hot faces on one another's, and they kissed forever. She grunted in his mouth and snapped up, sitting on him fully now, she crossed her arms at the waist and threw her dress in one swoop over her head. She was completely naked. Jon held his breath in shock. He'd never seen her naked before. She took him in her mouth, when _he_ was, but this was his first chance to admire her this way. She has wildness in her eyes.

 "Sansa." He gasped "I can't...you.." He took a deep breath, and put both hands on her hips. "You..are the most beautiful thing, I have _ever_ laid my eyes on. I can't imagine ever wanting to see another woman in the world in front of me _this way._ "

  He could see a shimmer of a tear rolling down her cheek, and she collapsed onto him and held him. His arms around her bare skin, he breathed the scent of her hair and stroked her back with his fingertips. He felt her face, wet from tears on his shirt now, and lifted her chin to meet his eyes. 

 "I _do_ love you Sansa Stark. I fear I may love you until my dying day."

 "Do not fear that my sweet Jon. We may get that chance."

  She started to sit up and tug at the bottom of his shirt. He helped her pull it over his head, and felt her hard nipples on his chest, as she went down to kiss his chest. She started to work at the buttons on his jeans. They were worn out, rugged jeans so the button flipped out easily, the zipper down, she tugged at them, and he took one leg out after the other. She then had her fingers under his boxers waistband and looked at him for approval. He lifted his bottom in the air, and she pulled them down carefully, exposing his hard cock, that smacked back down to his stomach. 

  They were both naked now. Nothing between them. Just them. Their animal selves. Each pulsing and aching for eachother. The desire was thick. Both their chests heaving at the sight that lay before them. She made the first move and wrapped her hand around him. He threw his head back at the initial touch and let her stroke him. Her hands, soft around him, he started to feel a rumble building inside. He snapped his head up and grabbed her to roll her onto her back. He went in to kiss her, his lower body laying in between her legs. His hard cock resting right outside her inner walls. He could feel the heat coming from her core, and the tip of him felt that she was already wet, and ready.

 "If we do this sweetling..there is no going back." 

Her hand cupped his cheek "Oh Jon..my love. There never _was."_

Jon was trembling. The love and passion he felt for Sansa, racing through his veins. He felt like a clumsy full. He didn't know what he wanted to say. He didn't want to fumble around..he wanted nothing more than to _please_ her. Every chance he got, he wanted to please her, loving the way she looked as he brought her to that beautiful climax that he'd been watching build in her body. 

 "Jon..please.." Her hips moved down. The head of his cock right at her outer core. "I want you _inside_ me Jon.. _please."_ Her begging voice buzzing in his ears, he moved his hips, to slowly thrust into her. His eyes squeezed shut in aching pain, her walls tight all around him. She gasped hard, lifting him off her chest a few inches. "Jesus Jon, ohh!" He grunted in her shoulder, worried his growling at being inside her would rouse everyone from sleep.

 "Sansa..ungh you're so tight. Wet." His words moving at the speed of his thrusts. His head was a flash of white hot ecstasy. He pumped slower now, feeling her nails dig into his back, he now wanted to concentrate on _her_ , before his release came..which would not be long. This _felt_ wildly good. He wanted nothing more than to fuck her for _days._  He curled his arms under hers and wrapped his hands around the top of her shoulders. Her moans in his ear driving him wild, he whispered "I won't last long sweetling, but I _will_ make you cum around my cock, and watch you as you shudder around me." 

  It was a fact. He would not leave her unsatisfied. He started pumping into her at steeper angle, sliding against her clit, in..and out. Each thrust, causing her back to arch into his abdomen more and more. He was now, angled to stimulate her nub, and the back walls of her core. He went in deeper, feeling her claws dig into his ass. She panted his name, breaths getting shorter, more strained. His balls started to tighten, he felt a moan start to build as he was getting close. 

  Her body seized, as her nails sunk into his skin now. "Jon..I'm..oh _god_ Jon I'm coming!" She hissed in his ear. Her body pulsing around him in waves. He felt her stomach contract against his. He watched her face contort in the aching way he loved. He could take it no more. He winced as he felt the heat of his own release. 

 "Sansa..me too.. _fuck! Fuck."_ He felt the pressure build, and one final thrust had him grunting in her neck. "God damn it." He moaned as his body trembled its last moments of orgasm. He lay on top of her. Spent, and still inside of her. He stroked her hair, and mumbled words of love into her nook. She embraced him back. Her body limp under his. He pulled out and lay next to her warm body. He wanted it to last longer. He wanted to be inside her for hours. She stirred against his body.

 "I'm glad it was you Jon."

 "I'm glad it was _you_ Sansa. I am utterly ruined. If I can't have you..I am _ruined."_

They didn't bother dressing. Jon pulled the covers over their bodies, and they fell asleep holding each other.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it was as good for you as it was for me. I need a cigarette now. The next chapter will be Sansa being stupid, rather than Jon..on graduation night.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa's Graduation night..where she loses herself for a sec. Guess who saves her? Hmmmm..

 

  Sansa woke next to Jon that morning, early, barely dawn. Her first reaction was to pull him closer, let his arms hold her tighter, and fall back asleep. They were both naked. She knew they'd have to dress as soon as possible to avoid getting caught. Neither of them wanted to make _that_ explanation. 

  She felt him stir. She did not want him to let her go. His naked body, in all its perfection, felt too good to leave. He was warm. His hairy legs entwined in hers. His beard on her shoulders, and his hair _down there,_ once unfamiliar and unknown to her, now made her feel like a part of him. So intimate. It was only human to want to sneak a peek. She felt malicious in doing so, but lifted the sleeping bag covering them both and looked down at his body. She smiled. He was something to look at. The only man she _wanted_ to look at. Suddenly she felt him jerk. She tried to jerk the covers back down, but he grabbed her around her waist and pulled her in. She stifled a gasp, and Jon cupped his hand over her mouth. 

  Her eyes were wide. He had her. She looked into his eyes and saw heat radiating from them. His hardness pressing into her thigh. He grinned at her and whispered in her ear. 

 "Sansa, what are you _doing?"_

  She only stared back at him, her eyes still wide, and shook her head. His hot breath was back in her ear, and it spread warmth straight down to between her legs. She could feel herself getting wet. His body was hot against hers, and now the sleeping bag was suffocating. She wanted to throw it off of them, but he held her down, still in her ear. He lightly licked her lobe and sucked lightly on them, before whispering.

 "We really _shouldn't._ Everyone will be up soon..you don't want to get caught..do you?" 

  She shook her head slowly. He met her eyes and sighed her name. Hearing her name on Jon's wanting breath was driving her crazy. She wanted him to kiss her. She was breathing out of her nose still, his hand still cupped over her mouth. He finally removed his hand and kissed her deeply. His tongue so delicious in her mouth. _Fuck. He tastes so good..everywhere._  She started to grind her hips closer to his erection, and he flinched. 

 "Sansa, _no._ We _can't."_ His eyes pleaded with hers, but still burned. 

  She put her hand straight down and wrapped her fingers around his hard cock. 

 " _Fuck_ Sansa, you're going to get me killed." He put his head down on her shoulder and groaned into her bare skin, while she worked her hand up and down. Her legs writhing on his. His forehead rolled back and forth on her skin like he was trying to fight it. Being so hard. Heat emanating from every pore. She felt her own core throbbing for him. She started to lead him to her center, and he held back. She pulled at the back of his hair. She _wanted_ him. She couldn't stop moving on him. Her breath became silent begging whimpers. 

 " _Please Jon._ Put it inside me _please._ I want you so much. _I'm so wet,_ it won't take me long.."

  She didn't get to finish, before she felt him move from her hand, to slide easily inside her. Still sore from last night, combined with a sweet aching of pleasure, made her want to scream out. Jons hands quickly smacked lightly over her lips to muffle her cries. _Jesus fucking Christ!_ His face buried in her neck stifling his _own_ grunt of pleasure. He started pumping slowly in and out of her. He was doing that thing that she never wanted him to stop doing..until the moment it was almost too painful to take, he was stroking her clit while thrusting, using her own wetness to go back in. She could hear Jon hissing obscenities into her sweaty neck.

  His hand keeping her moans muffled, the breathes coming from her nose were coming out faster. Hearing _him_ fuck her, the animal noises coming from his throat were enough to make her shatter all around him. Their second time, and somehow he _knew_ her body, like they had been doing it for _years._ She loved him inside her. Loved the way he moved. His primal sounds. The weight of his body on top of her. The feeling of his tightened stomach on hers. She started to tighten her thighs around his legs. Her nails clawed into his back. He removed his hand from her mouth and brought them under her shoulders to fuck her harder, and faster. 

  Her heels dug into his calves, she was about to climax. His hair fell over her face, she took the scent of him in and started to tremble. Her body seized, and she whimpered into his chest. She held on tightly to him, he thrust faster into her and one final push inside her, he hissed "Oh..god.. _fuck! Sansa.."_ She added a few seconds to her own orgasm just by watching Jons face as he came. His hair in damp ringlets, lingering over her face. His back muscles contracting under her hands. He collapsed on her and she embraced him. Letting her nails scratch his back lightly. 

  He pulled out of her and lay on his back. "Fuck. I am _ruined."_ He said breathlessly.

 _"What?"_ Sansa breathed. " _Why?"_

 _"Because_ Sweetling. I don't think I ever want to be inside of anyone else but _you."_ His fingers went through her hair, and he tangled a strand around his fingers. She was thinking of what to say, when they both heard soft voices other than theirs. They both went wide eyed, and scanned the room for their clothes. Quickly grabbing clothes and tossing their garments to each other, Sansa threw her pants on without her underwear. No time for that. Jon was already putting his shirt over his head. Carefully zipping his pants up, he reached for his socks and landed hard on his butt. Sansa wanted to instinctively laugh at him. If he knew how ridiculous he looked, he'd let her, but he shot her a look of warning and she giggled under her breath. 

  They both had their clothes on, although they looked a mess. Kind of like two people who just had _sex,_ Sansa thought. Their faces still flush, their breathes panting, damp hair, the entire tent _smelled_  of sex.

  No one even bothered them. Robb and Talisa stayed in their tent for the next 20 minutes, talking. Arya and the boys didn't even wake up until they started breakfast.  

 

 

                                            -----------------------------------------------------------------

 

  It had been four days since they got back. Life was waiting for all of them it seemed. Messages from everyone they knew, were blowing up their phones. Jon was so thankful to have agreed to turn them off while they were away, going as far as leaving them all in the cars. Now they were back, and the real world was waiting. Cat waited for their return by the door. The dogs were all on the porch, and ran down to greet them. She had managed a smile and asked how the trip went. They told her it was just what they needed. Jon noticed her give him a warm, genuine smile. His heart almost stopped. He wasn't expecting that. He almost couldn't look her directly in the eyes. He felt ashamed, and unworthy of her affection. 

  It brought the pain back. The guilt of what him and Sansa had done. Ghost ran to him, and jumped at his waist. Thankful for a reason to divert his eyes, he kneeled down to love his dog. He was petting him happily, and then felt a shade cover him. He looked up to see Cat standing there, still smiling at him. His eyes went to the ground. She softly touched the top of his head. It was a touch he was so unfamiliar with, and one he had no idea he would ever _have._ His eyes stung with tears. So much was going through his mind, he felt like his throat would close and he wouldn't be able to breathe. If he looked back up at her, he wouldn't be able to handle it. 

  Her hand went to his shoulder and urged him up. He slowly stood, and finally met her eyes. She squeezed his arm.

 "Your school called. They didn't get word of your absence. I explained, and they've arranged for you to take your finals on line. You don't want to miss out on this semesters credits Jon..Ned would've.."

  Her voice trailed off and she stared blankly at him. "Your.. _father_ would've wanted you to finish." 

  Tears welled in both of their eyes and Jon could no longer hold them back. He brought her in to hold her, and she embraced him back. Jon let the moment happen. He'd wanted nothing more than a mothers love for as long as he could remember. She wept on his chest and he kissed the top of her head. She gave him a pat on his back, and he pulled back, wiping his remaining tears, he started walking back to the house with Ghost. He saw Sansa and Robb on the other side of the Jeep, still watching. 

 "Oh and Jon?" Cat walked close to him. "I never thanked you..for..everything. Just...everything. Thank you." She walked back into the house. The Starks looked at each other in awe. 

 

  Life in the Stark house started to resemble normalcy, for the next few days. Jon went straight to his laptop and started the long and painful process of finals he'd forgotten about. Robb had taken Talisa into town to show her around. Rickon and Bran had even gone to their friends' house, and hang out like the teens they were. Arya had stuck around the house, never too far from Jon and Cat, but was cleaning, and cooking and taking care of the animals more. 

  And Sansa..was back on her phone, planning for graduation. Margaery insisted she come to her party, so Sansa worked on her dress. She hadn't visited Jon at all. They all met for dinner in the kitchen every night, and Cat was even taking part in meals with them now, but Jon desperately wanted her back in his arms. He wondered what happened. Everyday that passed without her, had him thinking the worst. 

  _It was a fluke. She regrets it. It's just because of what we were going through. She's going to go back to ignoring me now. Fuck..I'm ruined._

He was back to brooding. 

 

The following day had been a madhouse.Sansa's friends had come over to help with make up and her hair, before leaving for the ceremony. She quickly said goodbye to everyone, over her shoulder and barely looked at Jon. His heart dropped. Cat turned and talked to Robb and Arya about which cars to take, who would go with who, and where they'd go to eat after. Jon's mind focused on the night ahead, with a party at the richest residents in town, and how Sansa would be there, enjoying being a high school graduate, celebrating with her friends, and doing things he'd done only two years earlier. 

  But things were different now. For him especially. He _needed_ Sansa. _Had_ her. God damn..he _loved_ her..and it felt like it had slipped through his fingers. _Probably better this way. No explanations, no awkward conversations. No Robb beating the shit out of him for being in love with his sister._ He couldn't stop thinking. Robb finally walked over to him. 

 "You gonna get dressed bro? You finally gonna shave that shit off your face or what?" 

  Jon scratched his nicely grown scruff, and smirked. "I actually think I'll keep it. I kinda like it." 

 "You and your fucking hair Jon." He smacked him in the back, and they both walked upstairs to get ready. 

 

  The ceremony was same as his and Robb's. Cheers for the Stark name being called and Jon's heart lept when he saw her look up at her family with her cap and gown on. She wore strappy rose colored sandals that Jon noticed, and sighed. He wanted so badly to support her as her... _her what? Her boyfriend. Jesus Jon, pull yourself together!_

They all went to Sansa's favorite Italian restaurant, and ate their meal. She kept checking her phone every few minutes, and it annoyed him like crazy. He decided to look distracted and texted Sam. 

  **What are you doing tonight?**

 

**Hanging out with Gilly. You need me?**

**Naw. Just hit me up this weekend.**

**Sure thing.**

 

Sam of all people was in love. And he was surrounded by family..and still brooding. He kept looking at her from the other side of the table. She never made eye contact longer than a second. Before they could offer dessert, Sansa checked her phone, and started collecting her things. 

 "You're leaving already?" Arya asked.

 "Margaery and the girls are waiting. Sorry Mom..thank you so much for dinner. I love you."

 "Promise me you'll be careful. Stay the night. But do not drive." Cat cupped both her cheeks.

 "I will be available if you need to be picked up." Jon said softly.

 "Yes..if you need a ride and you want to come home _please_ call Jon..thank you Jon." Jon felt pride hearing Cat address him in such a way, his chest went up, and he looked over to see Robb looking at him. Jon's head just looked at his blank phone. 

 "Yes mother I'll be _fine. I promise._ She kissed her brothers, and hugged Cat, then walked from the table, went through the doors, and got in the car with her friends. Jon left almost opened-mouthed in the moment. She hugged everyone but him. They all wished her congratulations while she lept away in excitement and Jon just felt his stomach burn. Not knowing how to react, he got up to walk outside...just as she was pulling away. She looked back at him from the back window, and frowned.

 

  Jon went straight to his room after getting home. He spent a little time with the family and looked at the pictures everyone took of the day. Everyone as a group but none where her and Jon stood side by side. He yawned and made an excuse to go to bed. Cat reminded him to keep his phone on. He promised he would, and turn the volume high, but if she texted him at all, he would answer it. It was now 1:20, and nothing. He had chewed every nail down to the nub. His insides a worried mess. If he had to live another day not _knowing_ what the fuck happened..he'd lose it. In front of everybody. _No. No..can't do that..fuck. I am so fucked._

 _*bling*_ He nearly broke his hip, bumping into the dresser as he reached for his phone. 

  **Come get me.**

His heart was beating out of his chest. She needed him. _No..who knows what she wants or needs..she just needs a damn ride._  He texted her back.

  **On my way.**

He didn't even dress. He kept his sweatpants, and shirt on and slipped sandals on by the front door. He grabbed the jeep keys and quickly started the car, and pulled out of the driveway so fast, he could hear gravel flying. He was at Margaery's in fifteen minutes. There were groups of kids wandering around the yard, but Sansa was nowhere to seen. He parked the car, and was about to turn the engine off, to look for her, when she splattered against the passenger side window. 

  _She's drunk as hell. Great._

 _"_ Joooon! Thank you so much! I need _food!"_

She opened the door and threw her purse, shoes and phone in the back and stumbled to her seat. She smelled like all the alcohol she'd consumed that night. There was no point in having _any reasonable_ conversation with her. She was wasted. Before he pulled out of the driveway, she put her hand up his thigh, and started to move it up.

 "Sansa, _NO."_

She huffed and slumped back to her seat. She went on about how she drank tequila, how she let Margaery's brother kiss her. Jon gripped the wheel tightly and squeezed so hard, the leather creaked under his hands.

 "He put his hands up my dress and tried to finger me. I stopped him though. I know what that boy is about."

  She was giggling, and swaying to no end. Jon's anger was boiling under his skin. She finally leaned her head to the side and passed out. Jon, thankful for the silence, until her drunken snoring. When they finally got home, he parked the car. He opened the door, the lights came on, but Sansa stayed sleeping. He walked over to her side, unbuckled her seatbelt and started to carry her out of the car. She stumbled one foot to the ground, and before he knew it, his bare feet were covered in vomit. Regretting not having put shoes on instead of flip flops, he pulled her hair back, and let her finish. Her body heaved for what seemed like hours. She tried to stand but fell in his arms instead. She let her weight fall into him, and he scooped her legs up, and carried her to the side of the house, where he managed to rinse his feet off with the hose, and left his shoes behind. He carried her limp, clammy body into the house and up to her room. As he lay her down on her bed, he brushed the stray, sweaty strands of hair from her face. He looked down at her, and knew, that for _him.._ it would never be over. He would always be in love with her. There was no point denying it anymore. 

  He'd likely have to face rejection, but he was hers to have. Now and forever. He covered her with her blanket and kissed her forehead.

 "I love you so much Sansa."

  He turned to walk away.

 "You have ruined me Jon. My poor heart belongs to you..and there's _nothing_ I can even _do_ about it..and I _tried. And I failed._ I'm so screwed. _We.._ are screwed." Her slurred words died on her lips, and he heard her drunken snoring before he closed her door with a smile on his face. 

  They were damned. At least..they were damned _together._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter went in a much different direction than I intended..cuz of the Cat/Jon moment in the middle. But I have a feeling the next one will be better. Thank you all for every comment, and every kudos!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa's past few days POV.

  

 

  Sansa's eyes squinted open, she had a roaring headache, and her mouth was so dry it felt like she was swallowing air. Her stomach turned and she ran straight to the bathroom, barely making the toilet. She had been an idiot. There was no reasonable explanation for what she'd done, but her mind raced with thoughts of the past few days. 

  Seeing her mother, not only come out of a dark place she feared she'd be in forever, but also have the most heart felt moment she'd ever witness Jon and Cat have, put her in unfamiliar territory. 

  She felt touched when she saw Cat embrace Jon, and immediately felt shame. Was this what he'd always wanted? A mother. A mother figure? It was _her_ mother. She hadn't seen Jon as a brother for so long, and in that moment..it made her heart sink to think that her mom would _finally_ look upon Jon as one of her own, and that made her feel terrible. Had she wanted Jon all to herself, and actually wished for awkwardness between them forever? Would Jon feel the shame in what they'd done and forego _any_ relationship with her now? 

  Sansa felt selfish. Jon had seen, not just _her,_ but her entire _family_ through the hardest time they'd ever gone through..and he'd done it going through his _own_ grief. He was so generous. So loving, and understanding. He had _always_ been a Stark to everyone..but Sansa and her mother. And _now?_ She went into the house and disappeared into her room, shutting the door and the world behind her. She checked her phone, knowing she'd have a million messages waiting. Condolences. Graduation. Invitations. She couldn't bring herself to _care._

She read all her texts first. Replied with the same text to almost everyone. Margaery had sent the most, expressing sorrow for her and her family. Inviting her to _her_ graduation party. Asking about the dress she had started working on, and had she still planned on wearing it. About Loras asking after her, and whether she'd consider being his date for the evening of the ceremony. She rolled her eyes. She was well aware of Loras's _preference_ in the opposite sex, mostly due to a few other close friends who've tried to snag him. Their parents were wealthy and Loras probably felt the pressure to prove that he'd keep up the family line, but, if that ever happened, it'd be for _them.._ not him. Margaery was just looking out for her brother, and Sansa suspected she always would, by trying to find him the most reasonable understanding female companion who wouldn't mind eventually being in a loveless marriage, bear his children, and remain faithful throughout. 

  Sansa heard the moving about of everyone in the house on the other side of her door, and realized she'd _need_ to put herself into _something..._ other than Jon. She logged into social media, to find out about the events of life outside the Stark world. It was the same. The same boring shit that didn't matter. She felt empty, void of emotion. She scanned emails for registration at the college she'd chosen, hoping that might stir something inside of her. It didn't. She was tempted to drop it completely and take some time before starting school. The thought of packing up, leaving her family, and living on her own, surrounded by people she would never care about and a party lifestyle she'd never live, was overwhelming. She started to sob. Tears rolled down her cheeks at the thought of Jon going back to school after the summer. Returning to a life where they'd see one another for a few months out of the year, and of those months, stealing moments..of _what?_

Her chest hurt. Had she actually thought they could be together? Like a normal couple? That after graduating, and sometime over the summer, she and he could explain to their family that they'd fallen in love and she would now follow him wherever he went, because she couldn't live without him? That she knew what she wanted at 18? _Oh my god. It's ridiculous. It's ALL ridiculous. I'm a fool. This was..so..stupid. There's no way. No way. No way they'll understand. No way to remain a normal family. No way in hell this would actually WORK. What had she done?_ Tears would not stop falling, and Sansa lay her head on her pillow and cried.

 

  She went about the next few days the best she could. Trying to act as a normal teenager excited about graduation. If anyone really knew she just wanted it to be over with, she'd raise suspicion. She had ignored Jon. There were moments she refused to meet his eyes. She busied herself with her friends and anything that kept them from being alone. When she got in the car to leave, she felt tears well up and have to look out the window. She felt horrible. She could _feel_ Jon begging her for _some..any_ contact, and she blew him off. Her behavior wasn't questioned by anyone. Her friends just lightly stroked her shoulder, and she'd declare that she was fine. She'd fake a smile, nod her head, pretend to be excited about the fittings, trying on clothes, anticipation conversations about the party, summer boyfriends, trips, schools, blah blah blah. 

  She coasted through it all. It started to become easier to lie. She felt an obligation to Cat to make a big deal out of all this. She could see the distraction helping her, and that made Sansa feel better. Her mother needed to fret over Sansa, and Sansa needed her mother to be okay. She hated leaving the family behind, but Margaery insisted on having _just them_ time with their other girlfriends graduating, so she rushed out the door, acting busy, and this sure was an important day..yeah. Jon just stood there, and waited for some kind of recognition from her..oh god..her _heart._

  When she saw Jon sitting amongst the family at the ceremony her heart almost stopped. He was so beautiful. His beautiful dark eyes, filled with pride, that she saw from a distance. The scruff on his face, distinct and sexy as hell, making her happy that he decided not to shave. He was smiling that sad smile of his, it made her ache for him. She accepted her diploma and walked back to her seat. They'd shifted their tassels, threw their caps, and it was over. She readied herself for the dinner afterwards, and convinced herself to get through it, and keep up the facade for her family's sake. She continued to avoid eye contact with Jon, and hurried through the meal. 

  When she was driven to the party, she made it clear that she needed multiple drinks. She wanted to feel anything but this. Lying was exhausting her, and keeping away from Jon was even worse. If she could only go home, walk into his room, lay in his bed and let him hold her until she fell asleep in his arms, with absolutely no consequences, that's how she'd rather celebrate her graduation night. As it _was_ though, she'd have to do what all of her friends were doing, and drink, but not out of celebration. Once they got to Margaery's, Loras greeted them with cups of wine. She smiled kindly, and thanked him and threw back her drink in one gulp.

 "Sansa came to party!" Loras declared. Everyone raised their cups in the air, and Loras was quick to refill hers. She looped her arms through his and let him show her around. They went to the kitchen and he poured shots, of which she was unsure, but was prepared to drink whatever it was. 

 "You like Patron Sansa?" Margaery's voice came from behind. 

 "Um..sure!" They each held their shot glasses in the air, clinked them and toasted to graduation. 

  Sansa made a face after she downed it, and chased it with her wine. 

 "Do you guys have any beer?" Sansa asked. 

  Loras opened the fridge and got out two bottles and handed her one. She took a sip and nodded her head. _Much better._

She noticed more people coming in and out of the kitchen, and she smiled and made small talk, but stayed close to Loras. Margaery was making rounds and mingling, being the perfect hostess, while Loras poured Sansa shots. Sansa started realizing that she was drunk. More drunk than she was comfortable with. 

 "You wanna get some air San?"

 "Not really..how about a dance?" Loras raised an eyebrow and held his elbow out. She put her arm through his and he escorted her to the dance floor. The music was somewhat familiar to Sansa, not what she was accustomed to listening to, but good dance music. They had a DJ so the dance floor was set to the max. She started to sway against Loras. Moving her hips side to side with his. He was a good dancer. She held her beer in her hand and let him move closer to her. She was starting to sweat, and pulled her hair back. He kissed the back of her neck and she stopped moving to face him. Her eyes focused on his face, he cowered back. 

 "I'm sorry San, that was out of line." 

  She shook her head. "Sorry Loras it..I just wasn't expecting that." She frowned. 

  They continued to dance, keeping more distance between them, until Sansa was holding an empty bottle. She waited for the song they were dancing to, to end, and walked back to the kitchen. There were several girls in there now, all circled around the counter in conversation..which ceased the moment they walked in. Loras got out two more beers, poured two more shots, and they drank with everyone. They talked about their year. Sansa in a conversation with some of her girlfriends, and Loras talking to a rather handsome boy, she recognized as a junior at their school. Sansa and her friends were bringing up past summer vacations and asked what her plans were before starting college. Sansa lied and said she'd probably be camping more, and spending time with the family, when she actually had no idea. Focusing on day to day activities lately, were hard enough to do _sober.._ forget making sense of it under the influence. 

  They made their way outside by the pool, where a few people had wandered off to make out. She sat at one of the tables, dteremined to keep drinking until she stopped being so damn worrisome. Loras brought out the Patron bottle and two shot glasses and they continued to drink and talk. She found him easier to talk to, he was sweet. He was handsome, in a pretty way, his features a bit more feminine, as was his manner, but she found him to be a pleasant escape for a change. Not a whole lot of thinking required with _this_ one. Yes, he came with his _own_ problems, but none that would result in the total meltdown and banishment from the entire family. _Or maybe it would.._ who knows. Maybe _all_ families had their own damn problems. _No one_ is perfect. No scenario works out the way you expect. _You just love who you love._ Fuck. There he is. Popping in her mind again. 

  She shakes the thought of him from her head and grabs Loras's hand. She leads him inside the door of their pool house and pulls him closer to her. He takes lead, and leans in to kiss her. He kissed her like she was fragile, as though she would break. She slid her tongue in his mouth, and sensed his hesitation. It was a nice kiss, but it lacked..feeling. It wasn't hot. She wasn't hot. He wasn't hot. 

  She felt him respond by pressing himself closer to her. She could feel he wasn't hard. Jon would've already _responded_ in that way. She moaned, wondering if she was pulling _any_ of this off. 

 "Touch me Loras." She pleaded. Maybe he knew how to touch better than he kissed. Her leg wrapped around his and she grabbed his hand and guided it up under her dress. He grazed her thigh, and slid his finger under her panties. She felt the tips of his fingers slide slowly through her folds, and suddenly inside her. She went wet and felt tingles finally warming her body. He pumped his fingers in and out of her, and she whimpered against his chest. He wasn't stimulating her clit like Jon did, but in her current state, this still felt good. He continued to finger her and she moaned into his chest. 

 "God Jon.." She gasped. He stopped.

 "Umm... _what?"_

 _"_ Oh my God. Oh my God Loras. I'm..I am so sorry." She stammered. He removed his hand from under her dress and she fell back against the wall, covering her face with both hands. "Holy shit Loras. I...I guess I'm just.." She shook her head, feeling tears building. 

 "In love with Jon?" Loras stated.  

  Sansa uncovered her face and gasped in shock. "No! I mean.. _god No!_ I just..drank too much. I have no idea what I'm saying."

  Loras smiled at her. "Sansa, I think we both know what we want..and I don't think it's each other. I'm pretty sure you know what I'm about. I can't lie about how I feel, or who I feel it _for._  I have lived my entire life lying, so I know it when I see it. Some things are going to happen in my life, that I will have nothing to do with, and I will try my best to make things right with my family, but, I cannot lie about whom I love..and neither can _you."_

Sansa just stared back at him. Her eyes wide with shock. 

 "How about another drink..I can tell you need to not think about it, not tonight anyway."

  She nodded her head and let him lead her back to the party. Before she opened the door, she smoothed her dress and reached up to grab his arm. 

 "Loras?" He looked back at her. "Please..don't tell anyone? Please? Not even your sister?"

 "Not a soul San. Don't worry. I get it..Jon is hot _as hell_ , and if I had a _chance.._ cousins or not, I would _never_ let him go."

  She was still in shock, and her heart beat fast in her chest, so she just nodded and followed him out. 

 

  Sansa finally cleaned the night before off her. She balled her dress up and threw it in her hamper and brushed her teeth. She went back to her room and saw that it was 5:30. The aspirin was finally doing its work, and she had gone through three bottles of water. Her hair still wet, she dressed in the most comfortable tee she owned, and a pair of cotton panties. As she was about to lay back down, she stopped. She wanted _him._ She picked up her phone and texted.

  **_Please come to my bed and hold me until I fall back asleep?_**

She waited. She took a deep breath and looked at her message. _Seen at 5:31 a.m._ Her heart beat fast. She hadn't held him, touched him, or barely _looked_ at him in four days. She tried talking and touching in her _state,_ but found it to be a broken, fuzzy memory. _None of that counts. Stupid drunks girls accomplish nothing, when they're stupid drunk._ Her heart beat faster. She heard the faint sound of his hurried steps coming closer. Imagining Jon tip-toeing to her room, had her grinning. Her hand was on the handle, having already turned the knob, so that she could just open it. When she opened it, he was there, in front of her. The sight of him, looking him dead in the eyes, took her breath away. He stepped in without waiting for her to step back. His body was pressed up against hers. He grabbed the knob from her and quietly closed the door, his lips already on hers. 

  He kissed her hard, so attentively, his left hand through her hair, his right, around her waist keeping her close..and they were back, back to fitting perfectly to each other. He pressed his hardness against her core and she breathed in. _To hell with the world. I want THIS. I cannot live in a world where I can't have THIS._ She felt herself being swept backwards. He was forcibly walking her back to the wall, she suddenly felt her bare ass against it. Jon's mouth still on hers, his tongue in perfect unison with hers. She felt his hand between her legs and her panties being ripped down. He wasted no time getting her started. Her legs parted for him and she felt his two middle fingers slide in, as he circled her clit. He was kissing her moans back, when he broke the kiss, and was suddenly near her ear, with his panted breath. _She loved this. Loved his sweet breath in her ear. Loved his dirty words that came out with grunted breath, and it made her hot._

 _"_ Don't _ever_ do that to me.. _again._ " He warned, a hurt in his voice. She wanted to cry, but he _owned_ her body right now, and seemed to be in the middle of making a point. All Sansa could do was, wrap her arms around his neck and choke back a sob into his chest. She came around his fingers. Her body still seizing in orgasm as he removed his fingers from her, pulled his boxers down, and quickly thrust into her. he tried to keep a quiet groan into her chest, but it came out louder than he expected. He paused, his open mouth on her neck, and waited. She started to urge him with her body. He started to slowly move in and out of her.

  He fucked her against the wall, and moaned as quietly as he could in her ear. He grabbed her ass and started to move faster. They weren't making love at _all._ She was being fucked, and he was making it hard for her to keep quiet. His mumbled words buzzing in her mind.

 " _I thought you regretted me." "It felt like..before." "The thought of you, another mans hands on you..when you belong to me."_

Sansa held on to him. "Jon..I can't..it _can't_ be anyone _BUT_ you. I don't know what I'm _doing_."

 "Just _don't..stop loving me."_ Jon slowed his pace.

 "I won't last..I want you to come again." He whispered in her ear. 

  She nodded and shifted higher on his body. He started moving fast again. She felt another build up, and put her head back. He lifted her other leg, so she wrapped them around his ass, he lifted her up and down his cock, her back agianst the wall. She whispered she was ready when she felt herself starting to contract around him. Feeling his body against hers, she felt his last few thrusts inside her as they came together. They both stayed wrapped in each other and Sansa buried her head in his neck, placing gentle kisses on his skin. He carried her to the bed, pulled back the covers as he held her, and lay her down. He retrieved her panties, and crawled under the covers with her. 

 "Sleep my love, I'll stay until you sleep." 

  She was in his arms, where everything felt right, and allowed herself to close her eyes. She drifted back to sleep, and Jon gently let her head fall to the pillow from his chest and walked quietly back to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry the update took a while. Family vacations are suppose to be FUN right? Thank you everyone!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robb knows, and they talk.

  

 

  Jon woke to the sounds of his family moving about the house. He heard Robb taking to Arya. He glanced at the clock. 8:30 a.m. Ghost jumped on his bed and nestled his face on his chest. He leaned back on his pillow, and thought of Sansa. His burning for her still rumbling in his stomach. He hated to contemplate so early in the morning..but thought of his life without Sansa. He had to face it. If he was shamed, banned from the family, he couldn't handle it. On the other hand, if he had to keep living without her in his life..it would be impossible. They'd lost their father, a great man, a beacon and patriarch that kept the family together, and now they had to keep it, and do it on their own. Different relationships. Evolved lives. Life..would go on. But what if they knew? 

  Who would be their beacon? Who would embrace the idea of remaining a family, after _this?_

His heart started racing when he heard Robb's voice nearing his door. He heard him tell Arya to help Talisa fix breakfast and Jon heard his steps halt outside his door. He waited. He held his breath. Then he saw the doorknob turn. _Fuck._

Robb opened it slowly. Jon lay where he was, his arm around Ghost for protection. He looked upon his brothers face, and anticipated his words. 

  Robb looked at him and grinned. "You saved Sansa last night?" Jon felt a wave of relief.

 "Yeah. She was..in a state." He smiled. 

  He looked down, not wanting to make eye contact with Robb, feeling numb at the thought of an explanation. His hands stroked Ghost's fur, and he saw Robb seat himself at the edge of his bed, sighing loudly. Jon's muscles tensed. He could _feel_ what was coming. 

 "Jon...I have to know what's going on." Robb hung his head. 

 "With what Robb? Sansa?"

 "All of it Jon. I've talked to Talisa about..things. Things I've noticed, things that didn't make sense to me before, but.." He took another deep breath. "She noticed something that made it all make _sense._ At first, I couldn't even fathom it..but then I started remembering. Graduation night, things were different between you two. It's as though you both turned into strangers. Keeping your distance, avoiding being alone, even during Christmas..you both purposely kept your distance. Dad asked me about it on your first winter break back, I told him I didn't know anything." He paused. "Maybe I couldn't conceive of it Jon. Maybe my life.. _our_ lives together, just kept me from seeing what has been right in front of me all along."

  Jon couldn't breath. He sat there in his bed, unable to move. His insides churning as Robb's words processed in his mind. He was frozen.

 "You love her." Robb stated. He met Jons eyes. He could've elaborated, but Jon knew..he _knew,_ this was it. The conversation he'd been dreading. An admittance of his true feelings. Being confronted, and forced to explain. The words would be spoken. To Robb, his brother. 

  Jon swallowed hard. He finally met Robb's eyes, and sighed.

 "Yes."

  No need to add anything. No need to defend that _of course he loved her..she was their sister._ It would be demeaning to Robb. He knew what he was facing. Robb wasn't stupid, and of course Talisa picked up on it. Robb knew what falling in love with someone was about, and had clearly fallen for a woman who was the other half of him. Jon wished _his_ story were that easy. _Meet, date, drinks and dinner, laughter, mutual feelings..the love._ It was so easy, not a complicated mess that could destroy his family. He wants to be anywhere but here. He waits in agony at Robb's response.

 "How? When?" Robb asked quietly.

 "After the party." Jon anticipated questions, but explaining to his brother out loud, would be the moment it truly became real. 

 "Ygritte drank too much at the party. Sansa and I drove her home..and there was a _moment._ It didn't make sense Robb. I fought it with everything inside me..but.." He thought of the most sane way to put it. "I just _couldn't._ It was nothing more than a kiss. I _knew_ it was wrong..I even convinced myself that I was a drunken fool. I continued to live as though it never happened, even convincing her that I'd forgotten it even happened, but then, after going away..I _missed_ her. I couldn't help but think of her. I've been walking through life at school like I'm on autopilot, attending classes, going to work, studying and sleep. I haven't dated _anyone,_ made friends with anyone, I don't go out, I don't go to parties.." His words drifted off and he finally looked up at Robb. They stared at one another in silence.

 "For two years, you've been walking through life, in love with our sister." Robb shook his head. "And after father? What happened? What changed? Is it because he died, you finally decided to pursue her?" 

  Jons mouth dropped open. Robb's words were cruel, but he felt he deserved them. He felt sick to his stomach as _this_ would probably be the consensus from just about everyone close to them.

 "No. God no Robb! I came back home..I was destroyed. I wanted to crawl into a corner and weep until having to attend the funeral. I planned on dropping out of school..Jesus, I didn't know _what_ to do. But then I walked into the house, and everyone was so.. _broken._ I just needed the family to be _together._ Cat and Sansa stuck in their rooms, the kids starved for comfort, unable to cope..even _you_ needed Talisa, _your_ love, to comfort you. I only wanted our family to help each _other_ Robb. And as for Sansa, yes..I worried about her a great deal. I would have lived the rest of my life, never admitting that I had feelings for her. I'd give _anything_ for dad to be alive and _here,_ and had he not died, and come home, I would have. I'd come home for summer, watch Sansa graduate, and kept my distance."

 "Well _that_ didn't happen. Dad _died,_ you came home, and started _fucking my little sister!"_

Jon's door flew open, and Sansa closed it and turned to Robb. Her eyes were wild. 

 "Lower your _voice_ Robb. These doors aren't sound proof!" 

  Robb swung his head around and he got to his feet. "Sansa, what-"

 "Everyone is downstairs. I came up here to see what's taking so long for you two to join us and find you having _the talk_. Well Robb, let me elaborate.. _quickly,_ so that we may join our family for breakfast and get on with our lives. I'm in love with him. I have been in love with him for two years and I will be in love with him for the rest of my life. It was _me_ who started it, and it was _him_ , who stopped it, and for the love of this family, kept it inside for years. I avoided him at every turn, heartbroken, thinking he didn't remember that night." 

 "Sansa you were _sixteen._ And you are still so _young."_ Robb interrupted. 

 "True, I was sixteen, and I _am_ still young..but it doesn't change _anything_ Robb. I _love_ him. _You_ are young too, and does _anyone_ question _you_ being in love? No..it is _quite_ obvious."

 "That's _different_ Sansa! She's not my _cousin!"_

Jon flinched as he listened to Robb. He was letting her defend him, and all he could do is sit there. 

 "So _that's_ your argument. We are cousins, and therefore, couldn't _possibly_ be in love..be happy, like you and Talisa. We are sick for feeling what we feel, and that's it?" Sansa took a deep breath in and exhaled. "Robb, he _saved_ me. Do you understand? It was _him_ who lifted me from the deepest depth I have ever been in. Once he took my hand, I knew I'd never want to let it go..until I saw mom embrace him, and accept him. He even pulled _her_ up! I thought of letting him go..seeing him and mother like that, it's all he's ever wanted, and it made me pull away."

 "Exactly Sansa, and _this_ is what you're both prepared to lay on her now? It'll destroy her!" 

 "It _won't!"_ Jon finally stood. "We knew this would be hard to discuss or _explain_ to everyone, and I do not have any intentions on dishonoring this family.. _our_ family." Jon looked at Sansa.

 "You two want to be together. You plan on telling everyone? What if they don't accept it? What if _I_ can't accept it? Will you keep sneaking around behind their backs until it gets so serious, you leave the family behind to live your lives together?"

 _"Can_ you accept this Robb? No, we do not want to keep sneaking around. We've gone too far for that, and it _is_ serious now. Telling you and Cat were going to be the absolute hardest..but if _you_ accepted this..we could face them all _together._ I _need_ this family Robb. I can't have it come down to deciding between my family or Sansa. I can't lose you." Jon held back tears that stung his eyes. The thought of losing his family overwhelmed him. 

  Robb stared at Jon quietly. His body and breathing seemed to calm. He put his hands up to cover his mouth and sighed into them. His hands fell back down to his side. "You'll never _lose_ me Jon. This would be shocking for anyone to know and deal with. You _have_ to give me time. Please don't flaunt your love in front of me, it's hard enough letting this process, but.." He sighed, "You're my brother for life, and I know, in my heart, what kind of man you are. You would never hurt her." 

  Robb turned to look at Sansa. "This will be hard Sansa. I anticipate telling mother all this will be the make or break of your relationship, but given some time..I will have your back. We'll face it together..eventually. This is all so fucking _weird."_ He said shaking his head.

Sansa smiled and stepped toward her brother to hug him. Robb hugged her tightly. 

 "I'm glad Talisa is here. She has such a straight head and you would be wise to thank her for being there for me, because it's _her_ who will help me accept this. Had I been with anyone else, having the same discussions..well, it might have gone much differently." He looked at Jon sternly. 

  It broke Jon's heart how much Robb reminded him of their dad. He thought Robb was sticking his arm out to shake his hand, like a father would before carting their daughter off for a first date, but Robb stepped in to embrace him. A bro hug. Perfect, a family of huggers..and it was just what he needed. 

 "Now, shall we join our family for breakfast?" Sansa asked. 

  Robb patted Jon hardly on his back and they both turned to Sansa. "Yeah, let's do it."

  Robb walked through the door first, and Jon walked behind Sansa. She reached her hand back to hold his, and turned around to face him. He stole a quick kiss and pushed her out of his room, before they both did exactly what Robb warned them not to.

 

  Breakfast went as normal as always. Jon listened as everyone made plans for the day, and remained silent, smiling at the correct moments, as he felt Robb's eyes on him. He met his gaze once or twice, then looked to Talisa, who had a small smirk on her face. 

 "Robb and I are going into town later, does anyone need anything for tonight?" Talisa said, looking at Cat. "We could make a nice dinner or go out tonight if anyone's interested?" They all looked around at each other, trying to figure it out.

 "Why don't we go camping? I've  been dying to go swimming. Mom you should come with us this time." Sansa's eyes pleaded with her mother's. She wanted her to join them.

 "Yeah mom, come with us! Let's get some burgers and brats, and go swimming tonight!" Bran chimed in.

 "Alright. We'll need another tent though." Cat smiled.

 "I can drive out to Uncle Robert's and pick one up, I'm sure he wouldn't mind." Jon replied. 

  Cat nodded her head. There were eager responses from around the table. They all got up to finish cleaning. Arya, Bran and Rickon stomped quickly up the stairs to start packing, avoiding cleaning like the plague. Talisa was loading the dishwasher, when Jon saw Robb put his arms around her, kissing her cheek and whispering "I love you" into her ear. It was such a sweet moment, and Jon couldn't help looking at Sansa. She stared back at him and nodded as though she read his mind. How he wished that could be them. Embracing, kissing, showing affection, and being a couple openly. They were a long way from that..if it were even possible. He mouthed the words "I love you" to her instead. She smiled and mouthed the words back to him "I love you too". They both heard Robb clear his throat loudly and looked to see he was giving them a look of warning. They both smirked and looked down. 

 "Talisa, I'll make you a list of things to get from the store. I'll get the kids to pack up the Jeep for me and drive them out. You guys meet us out there when you're done..bring the chairs and sleeping bags with you in my car okay Jon?" 

 "Yes ma'am." 

  Cat walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder. He was still unfamiliar with the affection Cat gave him, but found himself overjoyed when she did. There was a softness in her eyes when she smiled at him. "Take Sansa with you. She's so happy with you." She brought her hand up to cup the side of his face. Jon just looked at her, keeping the shock he felt, from dropping his bottom lip to the floor. His pulse quickened. He had no idea how to respond. He simply nodded, a slightly confused look on his face. She turned to walk out of the kitchen. 

  He felt their eyes staring a hole through the back of his head as he turned to see Sansa and Robb looking confused. Robb's expression was priceless. His nose crinkled, and eyes were squinted. A look Jon deemed " _what the fuck was that?"._ Sansa's was more wide eyed and disbelief. And Talisa, just a knowledgable smirk. 

 "Looks like I'm not the only one who can see what's right in _front_ of me. I'm going to get dressed..lots to do today. Robb?" 

  Robb took her hand and walked away still staring at Jon with the same look on his face. 

 "Okay, I'm _sure_ she doesn't know..but _Jesus_ Jon. What is _happening?"_

 _"_ I have no idea San..but if she _does_ know..then I think it's pretty clear we have her approval." They both stood across each other in silence. 

 "I suppose..we should get dressed? Go to Roberts then?" Sansa said slowly.

  Jon nodded just as slowly. "Yeah. Let's do it." 

 "Anytime, lover." She patted his ass and ran up the stairs.

 

  Jon and Sansa had everything they'd packed for the trip in the trunk, and started driving to Robert's. As he took the turn out of their driveway, Sansa put her hand on his knee. He knew what was going through her head. 

 "Sansa, I did _not_ take that turn too fast." 

 "I know, and _you're_ driving now..but I'm just.. _remembering._ This car, it was it was in  _this_ car, when I realized I..I liked you. The jealousy I felt for Ygritte that night was.."

 "That night changed my life San. She would have _never_ had my heart..it belongs to you my love. It will always be _yours."_

He took her hand into his and held it as they continued to drive to Robert's. They pulled into his long driveway and parked in front of his house. As they got out of the car, Jon looked up and saw him coming out to greet them. 

 "Jon! Sansa! So good to _see_ you both!" He was a loud boisterous man, and Jon couldn't help but smile. Sansa quickly moved close to Jon as Robert approached them and threw his arms around both of them, squeezing them tightly. His big arms around them, and his belly moving from his laughter, he heard a small whimper escaping Sansa's lips.

 "Oh! So sorry dove, sometimes I forget my own strength." 

  Sansa stood back and smiled. "It's okay Uncle Robert."

  Robert laughed and slapped his arm on Jon's back. "Come to borrow the tent eh? Who else is going, you need it for?"

 "Mother is coming this time actually." Sansa stated.

  Robert stopped in his tracks and looked at them both. "You don't say! Cat is going?" Robert nodded approvingly. "Good. Good thing. I saw her at Graduation. She looked better, but still not quite ready to.." He stopped, choosing his words. Jon decided to take over.

 "She is coping. We've been spending more time as a family..it helps."

  Robert nodded. "Yes. Yes, very good. A very strong family." He looked down. "I wish mine were here. Cersai took Joff and the kids to her father's and brother's after Graduation. I'm alone for a few weeks." 

  Jons heart sank. He felt for Robert. He was a good man. He should have had a good family. He deserved love. He knew Robert settled, and realized _this_ could have been his father. He noticed Sansa on her phone. It annoyed him. Robert put his arm around Jon and led him to the garage. He picked up the tent and handed it to Jon.

 "Here ya go son. You'll get more use of it than I will." He laughed again. 

  Jon could hear Sansa running up to them. "Uncle Robert!" She said with panted breath. "Would you like to join us tonight?"

  Robert just stared at her, his eyes wide. "Nawww San..its a family outing."

 "You _are_ family. I asked mother and she said yes, definitely. Please? It will be so nice to have you join us."

 "I don't want to impose, dove." 

  Jons heart swelled for them both. "Please Uncle Robert. Like Sansa said..you are family."

 "Well..it wouldn't be interfering with my plans for doing nothing today." Robert nodded. "Okay! Same spot right? You guys take this one, I'll bring the small one and pick up some beer and meet you out there?"

  Sansa and Jon smiled widely and said "Yes!" in unison. Robert belly laughed, and it was so infectious, it made them laugh too. 

 "Okay kids! I'll see you soon!" 

  They walked back to the car, smiles still plastered on their face. Jon stuffed the tent in the trunk and they got in the car, waving to Robert as they drove off. 

 "That..was very sweet Sansa." 

 "I saw you give me a look. I know your disapproval face Jon. And all the while-"

 "Yes my love..I was wrong to doubt you."

  Jon looked over to see Sansa smile. 

 "It will be nice to have a father figure around. Someone so familiar with dad. He's so lonely, even with his family..he's so lonely."

 "He is. I wish he weren't. He deserves better than what he's got." 

  She put her hand on his knee. 

 "Do you think it's possible to fall into that kind of marriage?" 

  Jon started to slow the car down and took a quick turn down a dirt path pulling in, stopping, and shifting the gear to park. He turned to face Sansa. 

 "Sansa, that will _never_ be us. Look at me." Her head raised to meet his. "One of the saddest things about all of this, is,  _that_ man was in love with my mother. He knows what love is because of her, and she found the kind of love that _we_ have. He's spent his life _since,_ alone, unable to fill that void, and if you didn't love me back..I'd go through life the same exact way. If I didn't have you..I'd be Uncle Robert. You are _everything._ So, _NO_ sweetling. It isn't possible to fall into that kind of marriage..unless you decide you don't love me."

  Sansa unbuckled her seat belt and moved over to straddle Jon. Her mouth was on his, kissing him deeply. He wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her body closer to him. As she kissed him, she leaned her hand down and adjusted his seat to scoot as far back as it would go. Jon groaned as she cupped her hand over his hardening cock and fumbled with the button of his shorts. He lifted her dress up her thighs as she pulled his zipper down and wiggled his shorts down far enough to wrap her hand around it. It was fully erect now. Another groan escaped his lips.

 "Sansa."

 "Jon. I want you inside me." 

  She continued to kiss him, sliding her tongue into his mouth and moaned. They could be as loud as they wanted and she intended to be. She slid her panties to the side and slid down his cock. 

 "Fuck Sansa! Aagghh." 

  She started riding him. His hand went up her dress. He slid his fingers under her bikini top to grab her breast. She threw her head back, groaning in pleasure. Her hands were in his hair, grabbing his dark curls tighter as she rode him harder. 

 "Sansa you're always so wet!" 

 "I'm always wet for _you Jon."_

His other hand went down to her nub, as he gently rubbed her clit. "Yes! Oh god Jon _yes!"_

Her breathing were short gasps, her moans filled the car, Jon felt himself getting close. He grabbed the back of Sansa's hair and pulled her closer to him. 

 "Sansa I'm getting close. I want to watch you." He grunted.

  Sansa nodded her head "Me too. Fuck me Jon." He raised his hips and started meeting her thrusts, keeping his eyes on her face. Both his hands now gripping her hips as he was about to explode. 

 "Sansa, ungh! Oh god.." His thrusts going deeper inside her, she quickened her pace and a hiss escaped her opened lips. The sound of her wet pussy and moans sending heat through Jon. He watched as her face strained. He kept his eyes open long enough to see her face as she came. His body seized inside her and he could no longer hold his own. He came so hard, with a loud groan as Sansa rode the rest of hers out. Her shivered breaths sent chills up his spine. Their hands were in each other's hair, stroking each other while he was still inside her. 

 "That..was amazing." Sansa nodded at the side of his face. He kissed her cheek and whispered, "I love coming inside you. Have I ever told you that?"

  Sansa giggled. "No..but you never needed to say it. I _know_ you do. I can _feel_ it. And I'm glad I'm on the pill..because I love when you cum inside me Jon" 

  Hearing her words made him shudder. "I love you so fucking much Sansa. I can't.."

  Sansa pulled her head back to look into his eyes. "There is no need Jon. I will never leave you. I am yours. I am yours forever." She leaned down to kiss him softly.

  After a few moments, she finally climbed off him and looked around for something to clean herself off with. Jon reached into the glove compartment to grab Cat's travel tissues and handed them to her. He opened the door and walked to her side of the car. 

 "You need to start carrying baby wipes or something in your purse." 

  Sansa laughed loudly. "Yes I suppose I do. You get me all messy, can't show up looking and smelling like sex."

  She walked out of the car and snuck behind a tree to pee and clean herself. Her and Jon adjusted their clothes and hair before getting back in the car. 

 "Let's go camping lover. The water should wash the smell of Jon off me."

 "You saying you don't like smelling like me?"

 "Hell no..I love the smell of you on me. We _did_ promise Robb though..no flaunting."

  Jon laughed as he backed out and got back on the road.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Car sex is pretty hot huh?


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Camp Night 2.

 

 

  Sansa and Jon pulled into the camp with smiles on their faces. They saw the layout, parked next to the Jeep, and got out of the car to be greeted by Robb first. 

 "Uncle Robert is behind you guys?" 

 "Yeah, he should be here any minute now." Sansa said, smiling ear to ear. 

  Robb looked at them both with cautious eyes. Sansa walked straight to Cat, standing calf-deep in the water, and wrapped her arms around Cat's waist.

 "I'm so glad you decided to come mother." Cat hooked her arm around Sansa and looked to Arya and the boys playing around, and patted Sansa's hand.

 "Me too San." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, her face soaking in the sun. "Tell me Sansa..does he love you as much as you love _him?"_

Sansa stiffened. She felt her stomach drop. She had no idea how to respond. Her eyes went wide and she was holding her breath. Her mother turned to face her, and looked straight into her eyes.

 "I'll never understand what it is about _trauma,_ that makes the unnoticeable _clear.._ but Sansa, I've _seen_ the two of you. I _know."_

Tears welled up in Sansa's eyes, and instantly sought out Jon. He was standing by Robb and Talisa. Robb had already given him a beer and he was talking with a smile still stuck on his face. He caught site of the two of them and his smile only broadened, as he waved. Sansa was smiling back, tears falling from under her sunglasses. Cat reached out to wipe them gently from her face, and she looked back at her mom. 

 "I..I.."

 " _Does he make you happy Sansa?"_

Sansa swallowed hard. "More than I thought was ever possible, Mom."

  Cat smiled back at her and nodded her head. She gazed back out to the water, and Sansa saw her smile.

 "That's all your father and I have ever wanted for you." She took a deep breath. "I never knew how to feel about him..until..I saw him holding your hand. He..he is _good_ Sansa. He is a good _man._ I give you my blessing, I don't care what anyone thinks, I stand behind the man who makes my daughter happy. I love the man who loves her. I am only sorry it took _this_ to appreciate him..for who he _is."_

Sansa's tears streamed endlessly. Her lips pressed tight, she tried to stop weeping before anyone noticed. 

 "Sansa are you alright?" _Too late,_ Sansa thought as she heard Jon's voice. Sansa nearly gasped as they both turned to face him. Her stomach tightened and she felt like she couldn't breathe. 

 "Jon, I was just telling Sansa, how much I appreciate you being there for us. _All of us._ Of all things unsaid between _us,_ I just want you to know..that as long as you keep her happy, you will have my blessing." 

  Cat stepped forward to pull Jon into their embrace, and Sansa could feel his body tense. His mouth left slightly ajar, Cat broke the hug patting Jon's shoulder, and turned to walk to Robb. 

  Jon and Sansa stared at each other in shock. Sansa lifted her glasses and felt the heat envelope her. Jon was softly shaking his head, when Sansa reached out to grasp his hand. 

 "Jon. She _knows._ She knows..and she just wants you to _keep_ making me happy."

 "How is this _possible_ Sansa? I feel like I'm out of my body right now." 

  She tightened her grip in his, and nodded her head. "I know Jon, but..my _god."_ She took another deep breath. "Can this be possible? We can be _together?_ We can be _happy_ and we'll have our family's _blessing?_ "

  Jon simply stared back at her, the same dumbfounded look on his face. They both turned as they heard a car approaching. A shout of "Uncle Robert!" came from multiple directions and everyone surrounded his car as he parked. Amidst the excitement Sansa heard Robert's booming voice cut through the peaceful camp like a cannon. Her and Jon's eyes followed Cat's movement toward Robert, saw her eyes light up as they both threw their arms around each other. Neither of them surprised as he lifted her off the ground and swung her through the air. Everyone couldn't help but laugh, Cat's tiny frame being flung around like she was a child combined with Robert's bellowing chuckle, was infectious. They stepped from their statued state, and joined everyone.

 "Heavens to Betsy, I am so glad to be amongst friends!" His words got made them laugh, Arya, Bran and Rickon giggled and came in for a group hug. Jon and Sansa remained holding hands as they got closer. Sansa didn't feel the need to let go of him. She had no doubt that she'd never let go of him. He looked at her with his perfect crooked smile and she felt her stomach flip, the way he made it do.

 "Jon! Sansa! Come here you two!" They both approached, as his strong arms pulled them close. Sansa winced against his bicep, at the same moment she heard Jon grunt.

 "Uncle Robert, can I help put your tent together?" Bran asked.

 "Of course, son. Robb get my cooler out for me, I need a beer. Cat, are you swimming?"

 "Not swimming, but I'm getting in the water, yes" Cat smiled.

 "Well, personally I can't wait to get in, my muscles need it..is it warm?" 

 "Yes and it feels wonderful!" Sansa said eagerly. 

  Robert opened his cooler, fished out a beer, clicked the tab and threw his head back as he gulped half (if not _all)_ of it down. He started stepping toward the water as the kids raced past him. They hit the water with a splash, Robert closely behind, roaring like a bear. Laughter filled the air, as Sansa realized how much she underestimated camping. This was her happy place. Her family..and Jon..and _all this love._ She didn't know if her heart could take it.

 "Ready to get in the water San?" Jon asked as he tried to wink at her.

 "Are you aware that you're terrible at that? Like..you _can't_ do it. You _can't_ wink my love." 

  Jon threw his head back and laughed loudly, so loudly Sansa noticed Robb looking their way. She looked back, her smile unwavering. 

 "Yes..I'm aware. Is it a deal breaker?"

 "No. It's endearing. It'll be one of the things I'll add to my list..of things I love most about you." 

  Sansa saw Jon's face change. His eyes focused deeper into hers and she wanted right then and there to kiss him.

 "Sansa.."

 "Jon, let's enjoy our family. Let's enjoy this beautiful day." She looked to the sunny clear blue sky and smiled. She came closer to his ear and whispered. "And tonight..let's sneak out to the water, and get naked." She nipped at his ear lobe and ran out into the water carelessly, as Jon followed.

 

  The day turned into night. They started a fire and sat around while Robert insisted on grilling. It was comforting to have a father figure taking over the grill, the boys flocking to him to listen to his stories, and involve themselves. Everyone did their part to make Uncle Robert feel welcome, as he slipped into the position perfectly. Cat and Sansa sat around the fire, both with fleece blankets around their legs and a cup of wine in their hand.

 "Cat, do you want a dog or a burger? Or _both?"_ Robert's voice burst through.

 "Just a burger Robert..thank you." Cat looked up at her son's and daughters, her late husband's best friend, and smiled. 

 "I'm glad you asked him to come Sansa."

  Sansa sighed and looked at upon her family. "He needed it Mom. That retched woman took that retched son and the younger ones, the night of Graduation and went to visit her father and brother, leaving him completely alone." 

 "He settled for her. Hasn't been able to get right after Lyanna passed. He grieved for years. It's as though he might not have even married, as long as she were alive, holding onto hope of his one true love. Of course..it didn't matter, I was there to watch them fall in love, her and Rhaegar. It was fast, careless, young, pure love, the kind of love no one can do anything about." She sighed heavily. "Seeing you with Jon, for all your sneaking around, glances you try to keep hidden, I see something so similar. It's undeniable. It's like you were made for each other."

  Sansa hasn't heard her mother talk this much since before her father died. She missed having these meaningful chats, but never, in a million years, did she ever think she'd be having one about _Jon._

 _"_ It doesn't bother you that he's..that he's _family?_ That he's my cousin?"

 "Would it _matter?_ Do you think Robb would stop loving Talisa, if he found out they were cousins tomorrow? I know it's taboo Sansa, in _this_ day and age especially, but at one time, not too long ago, it didn't matter. When it comes down to it, I want _my_ children to marry for _love.._ not convenience, and above all, I want you all to be happy. Like your father and I. We were _so_ happy Sansa." Her eyes filled with tears. Sansa reached out to hold her mother's hand.

 "I know Mom. I know you were." Tears fell from both their faces. Sansa brought her knees up to cradle her head on her moms shoulder. 

  As Robert took the last of the meat off the grill, Talisa and Robb started making plates, and Robert came to sit with them by the fire. 

 "Make me both Tal..with everything!"

 "Coming right up Uncle Robert!" 

  Cat smiled, and it warmed Sansa's heart to see her mother slip back into happiness and comfort of the family. 

 "You did so well with these kids Cat. I am envious." Robert took a deep breath and looked straight into the fire. 

 "I cannot take all the credit. They are true born Stark's the lot of them." She shook her head in awe. Robert's laughed, his face lighting up as the rest of the family joined them. 

  Everyone ate, drank, exchanged stories. Stories about their father, and their family, and Uncle Robert swelled with pride when he shared stories about Ned. 

  The younger kids were the first to take their leave as their games called to them. Robb and Talisa weren't far behind. Cat and Robert stuck it out for a while, recalling tales of them as teenagers in high school. Jon and Sansa exchanged looks as they both looked back at the tents and realized there were just three tents left. Cat's, Robert's and Sansa's. They braced themselves, instinctively, expecting one of them to point out the sleeping arrangements, but both of them said goodnight and headed to their own tent. Jon and Sansa remained by the dying fire. Sansa was hesitant, but looked up at Jon's smirking face. 

 "What are you grinning about?" She asked.

 "What do _you_ think?" He shook his head with a look of wonder. "I just don't know what to make of this _day_ San. If I didn't know any better, I'd say..we have the blessing of our brother, your _Mom,_  and maybe even our father's best friend. As soon as we figure out how to explain this to the kids..we just might be in the clear." 

  She shook her head, once again letting the revelations of the day roll through her mind.

 "I can't believe it _happened_ that way. I mean, first of all, I'm _young."_

"So were they."

 "I know, but their generation's 'young' and ours is completely different."  Jon laughed. "You're right, but there's always the exception..I'd like to think that's _us."_

Sansa reached out to grab his hand and squeezed it assuringly. "It _is_ us Jon. I've known I have loved you for a long time, and nothing has been able to change it."

 "Not for lack of trying." He quipped.

 "Why you-" she tried to take a playful swing at his head and as he playfully defended himself, his chair fell back. Her hands in his grip he brought her down with him. They crashed to the ground and started laughing.

 "You brought me down with you!" Sansa giggled out.

 "Shhhhh, they're gonna hear us." 

  His hand reached up to stroke her hair and Sansa lay facing him and stared at him.

 "You are so pretty Jon."

 "No more than you Sweetling."

  He came in to kiss her. Her legs unwound from the pile of chairs and she pressed her body closer to his. They kissed for a few minutes, then she heard him draw breath. 

 "Sansa." 

  She slowly stood up and walked toward the water. Crossing her arms, she grabbed her dress and flung it over her head. She grasped the top of her panties and pulled the down, stepping out of them and kicking them on top of her discarded dress. She stepped backwards slowly, watching his eyes devour her every move. He stood up and removed his shirt, then unbuttoned his shorts and slipped the down. When he stood, Sansa took his naked body in. Her chest heaved when she saw him fully erect, then he started to walk down to her. 

  She was waist deep in the water. Jon came in, walked straight to her and grabbed both sides of her face and brought her in to kiss her deeply. His body pressed so tightly with hers, there was nothing separating them. He moved her deeper into the water, carefully guiding them further from the embankment to the safety of the other side. The water was now up over her breasts. Their kissing got hotter, the breath coming from their noses heavier. Sansa felt him lower his hands from her hair to her breasts. He dipped his head down to kiss her nipples, she had her fingers in his hair, moaning softly as his tongue work on her nipples sent heat racing between her legs. 

 "Damn Jon..the things you do with that _mouth."_

Jon's hands were on her ass now. He lifted her slightly, she took the cue and wrapped her legs around his back. He held her and walked closer to the tree roots that stuck out of the embankment and disappeared into the water. He cradled her atop one of the thicker roots, keeping her legs open. She tested the strength of it before leaning back, using the roots behind her arms to lean against. He was waist deep in the water, he wrapped his arms under her thighs and lowered his face between her legs. His tongue lapped at her clit, then licked down to tongue-fuck her.

 "Oh my _God_ Jon." He licked at her, going back up to kiss her clit, and go back down into her hole. She moved her legs to his movements and writhed her body in pleasure. He had her on fire. 

 "Don't stop. _Fuck..don't stop."_ Her breathing came out fast, her whimpers and moans making him go faster. She felt him lift her slightly higher and suddenly his tongue was in her _other_ hole. She gasped loudly, and nearly brought her head up to ask what the hell he was doing, but threw her head back in ecstasy as it felt _fucking wonderful._ His tongue was back in her cunt now. He was moving so fast up and down, putting his tongue in every hole, lapping on her clit, and driving her to the edge. 

 "Oh god..oh Jon..yes!" She was grabbing two handfuls of his hair and rode his face as her body started to erupt. She whimpered out an intense orgasm, when he slipped a finger in her cunt, and darted his tongue in her ass. She shuddered at the end of her spasms and finally lept forward, throwing her arms around his neck. She leaned into his chest, and panted.

 "What..what the hell was _that?"_ She managed to pant out.

  Jon just shrugged his shoulders and grinned. "I don't know, but you sure did _love_ me doing it."

  She playfully punched his arm. "It was pretty fantastic." Her hand dipped under the water to grab his erection. A guttural growl escaped his lips.

 "Making you come that hard and hearing those noises you made..it got me so fucking hot, I don't know I'll last long Sansa."

  She walked them deeper in the water, locked her arms around his neck and wrapped her sore legs around his waist. She guided his cock into her and slid straight down, taking him all in. He groaned in her ear and sent shivers up her spine. He gripped her ass and started thrusting in and out of her. Her head rested on his shoulder, her face in his neck, she bit him to keep from moaning too loud. 

 "Fuck Sansa." He hissed. She could tell by his voice and the quickening of his thrusts, that he liked it. She tightened her leg's grip, feeling the soreness from her inner thighs and met his thrusts. Riding his cock with her clit, she started to feel the ache coming.

 "Jesus, I'll never get tired of hearing you moan in my ear. Are you close Sansa?" She nodded in his neck. He grabbed the back of her hair and pulled it, forcibly enough to send heat through her body. He fucked her harder, faster..faster. Waves of water rippled all around them. Small splashes came up between his chest and her breasts. Their fast, hot breaths sounded animalistic. Sansa's mouth was open, uncontrollable moans as she felt him inside her. His hand gripping her ass so hard she felt him trembling. 

  She bit down at his neck again. He pulled her by her hair once more and they both shattered around each other, together. He groaned her name as she held him tight. His thrusts slowed, giving her the last vestiges of pleasure. 

 "That..was fucking _hot._ I love camping now." 

  He smiled crookedly and laughed into her breast. 

 "Well, this was never really a part of _my_ camping experience..but I certainly love it more than fishing." 

  His fingers once again through her hair, she dismounted him, and held his hand as they walked back to the camp fire and dried off. Sansa bent over to pick up her clothes and heard Jon whisper. "Leave them off. We won't need them in the tent."

  Her eyes went wide, thinking about doing it again..she was exhausted. He walked over and threw the blanket around her back and wrapped her tight. 

 "I don't mean _that_ Sweetling..I just want to fall asleep naked. I love that."

  A wave of relief shot through her, and she smiled back. "I love that too. I love _you_ Jon."

  His beautiful brown eyes stared back at her, and he'd say what she could already see. "I love you too Sansa."

  

  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to stop updating. These two stories are not only my escape, but my babies..and I am not tired of writing Jonsa. I absolutely LOVE these two together. So I'll be here a while. As always thank you so much for all the kind words and kudos! Hope you love smutty goodness as much as I do! Lol


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some good ol' smuttiness. Some Jonsa talk, and a lil more smut.

 

 

  Jon woke up, entwined in Sansa's arms and legs. They had no blanket covering them, so anyone could simply walk in and see their naked bodies wrapped in each other. He raised his head to listen for any sounds..nothing. It couldn't have been 6 yet. His erection was hard pressed into Sansa's hip and he lay his head back down to will it away. Sansa's head raised off his arm, and adjusted her eyes. She looked at him and smiled. His cock twitched, distracting her, and she looked down. 

 "Mmmm..this is what I love about mornings." She whispered. She stretched her long arms in the air, yawned and pressed her hip closer into him. She seized in the middle of it, when Jon pinched her waist, a sensitive spot on the side he knew was very ticklish. She came down with her fist like she'd punch him, he flinched away. Before he knew what was happening, her hands were around his hips, and his hard on was in her mouth.. _deep_ in her mouth. 

  He had no words. He wanted to moan out loud, but their Uncle's tent was closer than any of the ones the last time, and he remembered how the last time he had to put his hand over Sansa's mouth to keep her quiet, and that got him feeling hotter, so he lifted his hips to meet her, his eyes closed tightly, a choked soft moan escaping his lips. He felt the back of her throat, her tongue taking long strokes up and down, and her lips forming a tight rim against his shaft. _She is so fucking good at this._ His mind wandered, his eyes shut, while his body was on fire. 

  He heard a tent zipper, and popped his head straight up. Sansa kept sucking. He tapped her head a few times but her mouth continued it's work. He felt his stomach muscles burning, as he remained propped up, listening and looking out for whomever was awake. He heard footsteps now. They came in the direction of his head, then a loud burly cough. _Uncle Robert. Walking out to take his morning piss, and probably waking everyone up with that cough. He_ walked out of range, Jon almost sat up.

 _"Sansa,_ it's Robert, you have to-" He stopped whispering when she put her hand on his stomach muscles and pushed him to lay back down, she was also bobbing up and down his cock faster now. Watching her, he moaned in protest, but felt himself about to come.  He watched her in awe. His cock disappeared into her mouth..her tongue working him in between. He threw his head back and grasped handfuls of her hair with both hands, as he felt himself about to explode.He felt the wave of pleasurable aching rise in his stomach and warned Sansa, but she continued to bob. He watched her, propped up on his elbows. He felt it coming..he held his breath and thrust into her mouth, his whole body stiffened. She continue to suck on him while he kept the groan deep in his throat. He had fistfuls of blanket and tent in his hands. He finished convulsing and let his head fall back down with a thud.

 "Godamn Sansa." He hissed. 

  His cock bounced out of her mouth as she grinned down at him, her head tilted slightly, and her beautiful red hair a ratted nest. He let a quiet chuckle come out of his mouth as he looked at her. Her cheeks were red with flush, and her sex-hair.. _beautiful._

Behind his head, Jon heard Robert's footsteps walking back. Sansa's eyes darted around the tent, looking for their clothes. Her dress was in a bundle, as she unwound it, her panties rolled out of them. She threw her dress over her head. She picked up Jon's clothes bundled up, and chucked them at his face. He grabbed them, shot her a look, and started dressing. His clothes were hard to get on, he was sweating, and it was only getting hotter. Sansa unzipped the tent before he could button his shorts..he also couldn't find his shirt. He wanted to yell at Sansa but half her body was already out, he hissed a curse behind her.

 "Good Morning Uncle Robert!" Sansa's cheery voice broke through the camp.

 "Gooood Morning Dove, want some coffee?" 

 "Yes, thank you!" 

  Jon tore the tent apart looking for his shirt. Walking out of here shirtless combined with Sansa's sex hair, _that he didn't get to warn her about_ , was so fucking inappropriate..Jon couldn't think about it. He felt mortified. His backpack was still in the car, his swim trunks hanging over one of the chairs. 

 "Looking for _this?"_ Sansa stood at the opening, dangling his shirt in his face. He grabbed it from her and whispered loudly, " _You have sex hair!"_

She was out now, throwing his shirt over his head, he leaped out of the tent. He finished adjusting it and saw Sansa opening the car door and going through her purse. He distracted Robert.

 "Morning Uncle." Jon said to Robert.

  He was bent down, adjusting the knobs on the grill. "Oh Jon, good morning! I'm going to put some coffee on, and start breakfast. Help me get stuff out of the cooler?" 

 "Of course."

 "Such a good lad. Thank you."

  Jon walked to Robert's oversized cooler and stared Sansa's way. She was brushing tangles out. Jon was watching her intently, engrossed in her beauty. His chest actually felt full of pride that she was _his._

 _"_ You two aren't fooling anyone y'know." Robert said from closely behind him. 

  Jon froze. His mind was racing for an answer. He felt Robert's big hand fall on his shoulder. He turned his head and looked at him, and nodded.

 "Do you _love_ her?" Jon nodded again, his eyes more serious. "And her _you?"_

 _"Yes."_  He answered, a gruff in his voice.

 "I think it wouldn't have been _ideal_ with your father..but he wasn't able to do a damn thing about Lyanna. She was undoubtedly in love with Rhaegar. The kind of love that breaks families in half if they try to do anything about it. There was _no_ telling her to take time away from him..to stay single, live her adult life and figure it out afterwards nonsense. She wasn't having it. She wanted him, insisted she would always want him, and if they tried to keep her from him, she'd leave, move so far, no one would ever find her, and stay gone forever."

  Jon's eyes went wide with shock. He was hearing this for the first time. 

  Robert nodded. "Yeah. Ned decided to embrace it..he _had_ to..he didn't want to lose her." Robert sighed. "So headstrong..your mother.." His words drifted. He looked at Jon. "Ironically..it is _Sansa_ who reminds me of her. All you have to do is keep making her happy. Your father did that for Cat."

 "Did you ever meet..my..Dad?"

  Robert took a deep breath and looked to the sun. "Naw, not really. I shook his hand, he was a looker. I was heart broken..too hard. It was too hard. The way she looked at him. Her happiness..it _crushed_ me. I went on a two year bender after all that. And then.." He cleared his throat. Jon understood. A lump formed in his own throat, he saw movement from their side, and Sansa was walking up to them.

 "What's for breakfast?" She smiled broadly. 

  Jon managed a smile, and Robert smacked his hand down on his back. "Bacon..sausage..eggs?" Robert gruffly said.

 "Sounds great!" She grabbed the egg carton out of Jon's hand and they walked back to the grill together. 

 

  They spent the better part of the day, in the water. Robb, Jon and Robert gathered things for fishing, and they all headed down stream to join them. It was the perfect day. Peaceful. Surrounded by their family. Cat sitting on a fold out chair in her sunglasses and hat, watching her children. When the sun shifted westward, they checked the time, 3:30. They started packing things up. They helped Robert. He looked as though he wanted to take them all with him. 

 "When will they be back Robert?" Cat asked.

 "Oh..Cersai says next weekend..but it'll likely be later than that." He shuffled his feet, looking down. 

 "Why don't you meet us for dinner Tuesday..or I can make dinner. You could come over." 

 "A home-cooked meal? I'd _love_ that!" 

  They made their arrangements, and Robert was the first to leave. They finished loading up the Jeep and everyone piled into the cars and headed home. Sansa drifted asleep on their way home, her hand rested on Jon's thigh. He nudged her when they pulled into the driveway. She nestled her face into his hand and hummed. They both got out, she mumbled dibs on the shower, and disappeared behind the doorway. Jon finished unloading, when Robb walked up to him. 

 "You had the _talk?_ With Mom?" 

 "Yeah. She knew."

 "She _knew?!"_ Robb gasped.

 "Yeah man. She knew, and she asked me to.."

 "Keep her happy?" Robb interrupted. 

  Jon nodded. "Uncle Robert too. He told me about.. _my_ mother. She threatened to run far away and stay gone. Father didn't want to lose her, so he accepted it. She was stubborn."

 "Like Sansa." Robb breathed.

  Jon nodded, shoving his hands deep in his pockets.

 "Well, I guess the hard part is over. I mean..I don't know man. If you plan to live your lives _here.."_

 _"_ We'll deal with it. There's a _lot_ to deal with yet..I just.." Jon took a deep breath. "I don't know. One thing at a time. I'm just going to focus on _her_ for now."

  Robb nodded back. It was too much conversation to hash out _now._

They both unloaded the cars and headed into the house. Cat was in the kitchen, she was ordering pizzas on the phone. The kids gathered in the living room, on their phones. Jon walked straight to his room, dropped his bag and plopped face down on his pillow. Ghost curled next to him on his bed. He drifted into a heavy sleep.

 

  He stirred awake, looking at his clock _2:38._ He looked around the room, his eyes adjusted to the dark. Ghost sat at his cracked door. He slowly got out of bed and walked out. He made his way downstairs, walked to the kitchen back door, and opened it, letting Ghost out. He made his way to the fridge, opening it, and pulled out the two pizza boxes. He set them on the counter. One would be just cheese and pepperoni for the kids. The other would be for the adults. Something with a lot of meat and onions on it Jon hoped. He opened the boxes and saw what he wanted. He shoved a slice of cold pizza in his mouth, opened the fridge and grabbed a beer from the shelf. He finished his bite, washing it down with a gulp of beer, and stepped outside with Ghost. He looked over their backyard. So _many_ great memories back here, he thought.

 "Hey." Her voice spun him around, a slice of pizza hanging out of his mouth. 

 "Hey." He chewed quickly, setting his beer down, he opened his arms as she walked into his embrace. 

 "You missed dinner." She pointed out. He finished his slice, nodding. 

 "I guess I needed some sleep..you've been wearing me _out."_

She mock punched his stomach, he laughed. His hand stroked her back. Memories of his graduation night flashed quickly in his head. That was a different lifetime ago.

 "Will you go back to school after this summer?" She asked in his embrace. 

  He looked down into her eyes. "I don't know. I haven't really made up my mind about that yet." He breathed hard. "Are you starting school?" 

 "I haven't decided either..I kind of..want to enjoy our summer. _Here."_

 _"_ Me too." His words were soft. Soft as the skin of her face that rested in the crook of his neck. 

 " _Jon."_ Her voice pleaded. 

 "Sansa." He would do anything. _Anything._

"Will you stay with me?" Her voice fragile..desperate.

 "Yes Sansa. I'll never leave you. Wherever you go.. _I go._ " 

 "Where we go, my love. As long as I have you, I _promise_  we can be _happy_ Jon." 

 "I know. I _know."_

Her faced tilted up, her plump pink lips begging for him. He leaned in and obliged. He kissed her deeply, his tongue playing with hers. He started breathing hungrier. 

 "Come..lets go the the poolhouse." Her hand held his and led him through the door to the pool house. She barely shut the door when he slid his hand under her dress. He pulled her panties down, she fidgeted with his buttons. He stepped out of his shorts when he felt them around his ankles. His cock at full attention. She hopped onto the ledge behind her, spreading her legs, pulling him into her. Her center was positioned perfectly in front of his cock. He put his hand around it and traced it from her clit, down into her hole. He thrust forward into her. 

  Their moans filled the room. He cursed under his breath. She remained tight around him and wet. He trembled inside her. Her legs shakily wrapped around his ass urging him deeper, he started moving in and out of her. 

 "Fuck Sansa." He said through gritted teeth. 

 "Yes. Jon.. _yes."_

 His thrusts were long out and quickly _in._ He cradled his cock against her clit, making sure to hit both spots. He wanted to feel her wriggle around him as he brought her to her climax. He grunted with each thrust. Their sounds getting louder. Her nails dug deeper into his flesh. Jon inhaled the scent of her freshly washed hair. He dipped his finger down, rubbing her clit. A high pitched moan choked out of her mouth, sending hot blood pulsing through him. His ears were on fire. Sansa's panting had him in ruins. She grasped at him tighter. Her body trembling, he rolled his hips, pumping into her and bringing her close to her release. His feet started to burn, he was using every muscle, down to his toes to satisfy Sansa. 

 "Oh _God_ Jon..yes! Yes! Fuck!" 

  He brought his fingers up to his mouth, licking them, tasting her. He felt dizzy, seeing white dots, he grabbed her hips and fucked her until he felt her contract around him. Her nails drew blood, the smell of her pussy hit him, and he pulsed into her. His groan choking out, he thrust deeply into her. They shuddered around each other. She held him closely, her body still trembling. 

 "I wish we shared a bed." She panted out. 

 "Me too Sansa." He breathed heavily.

  They held onto one another for a while. She swayed into him, holding his hand as he walked her back in the house. Lady and Ghost walked with them, quietly up the stairs. 

 "Until tomorrow my love." Sansa kissed him deep. 

 "Goodnight Sansa. I love you."

 "I love you Jon."

 

 

 

  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! I hope you're still enjoying this! I know I am!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon and Sansa's first real date.

 

 

 

  Jon finished getting dressed and looked in the mirror. His curls were unruly and untamed, so he decided to tie it back. Satisfied with his overall appearance, he looked down at Ghost and pat him on the head.

 "I'll be back in the morning okay?"

  He walked out of his room and downstairs to join the family and pick up his date. _His date._

  The entire family knew of their relationship now. Bran wasn't as confused as Rickon was, but after making a few childish jokes, they shrugged it off. Arya was quiet. She didn't seem too shocked, rather annoyed with how long it had taken them to break it to her. She asked Jon, if he thought she wouldn't understand that Sansa and him _needed_ each other to get them through something so painful, and _naturally_ fell in love. She was smarter than they gave her credit for. So that was it. Everyone _knew._

Jon's next move was to ask her for a proper date. Courting was no longer necessary, but he wanted _some_ semblance of a _normal_ couple, not to mention, an opportunity to be out in public setting, without Robb's piercing glares over his shoulder anytime he was in close proximity to Sansa. He wanted to lean in and kiss her whenever he _felt_ like it. 

 "Look at _you."_ Robb sneered walking out of the kitchen. "Going with the man-bun on your first date? Where you taking her, Friday's?" 

  Jon tightened his lips and sighed. "Robb, can we talk?" 

  Robb held a beer in his hand and turned back around to walk into the kitchen. He stood by the counter and turned around.

 "What's up?"

  Jon swallowed hard. "Are you going to be _okay_ with this Robb? I'm sensing some hostility from you about.. _this."_

Robb took a long sip from the bottle, and set it down on the counter. He licked his lips. "You're like my _brother_ Jon. You're like my _brother,_ and you're dating my _sister."_ His hand went flat on the counter and he closed his eyes. "I'm _trying.._ I am really _trying.._ because I _see it._ I _see_ how much she _loves you.._ and I see how much you love _her.._ and I _know everyone's okay with it.._ but.." He shook his head.

 " _Dad?"_ Jon whispered. 

 " _Yes."_ He breathed. _"I_ can't help but feeling like..what if he were still _here._ Would this have even _happened?_ What would he _say?_ What would he _do_ Jon?"

  Jon swallowed the lump in his throat. Hearing it was _hard. "_ I've loved her.. _before._ I..I can't tell you if it would have never happened. I'd rather have him _back_ Robb, and spend the rest of my life miserable and _alone,_ but I would have _never,_ nor _will I ever..dishonor him..or her."_

Robb hung his head heavily. " _I miss him Jon."_

Jon came closer, and put his arm around his shoulder to bring him close. Robb threw his arms around his back.

 " _I miss him too Robb."_

Robb patted his back and pulled away, blinking his eyes. "Just give me some _time.._ I'll _adjust."_ He paused to shake his head. "I played _dolls_ with that girl y'know? I taught her how to _swim."_

 _"_ You played _dolls?"_ Jon grinned widely.

 "Yeah dammit..you know Arya wasn't into that _shit."_

 They both bent over in laughter, when Sansa's voice came from behind them. 

 "What's so funny?" 

  Robb looked over Jon's shoulder. Jon whipped around and gripped the counter to keep from teetering. 

 "I was just telling Jon about playing dolls with you."

  Sansa laughed softly and shook her head. "Yeah I suppose you wouldn't know about that. Robb threatened to chop my hair off in my sleep if I told anyone." She said while sweeping her long hair around her neck. 

 "You _okay?"_ She asked him.

  He was still mesmerized by her. She was _stunning._ He couldn't seem to stop staring at her in her dress. Red. Red dress. Red hair. Breathtakingly beautiful and flawless, and _just for him._

 _"Jesus Jon."_ Robb groaned. 

 "Um..y..yes. I'm fine." He finally exhaled. " _You..you're gorgeous_ Sansa." 

 " _Smooth man."_ Robb mumbled under his breath from behind him. 

  Sansa smiled sheepishly. "Thank you Jon." She walked up to him, her eyes settling on his hair. "So are  _you."_

 _"I.._ you _like it?_ I can take it out..it was a _mess,_ but it should be fine by the time we get there."

 " _No...I like it._ Keep it _up."_

Their gazes remained, silly smiles stuck on their faces. Jon couldn't stop staring at her lips, and nearly leaned in to kiss her.

 " _Umm,_ hey guys..I'm right _here._ Big brother? Still in the _room."_

They both blinked and took a step back. 

 "So, where are we going?" Sansa asked.

 "Aemalies."

  Sansa raised an eyebrow, and nodded.

 "Pretty impressive Jon." Robb said smugly, opening another beer. 

  He nodded. "You ready?"

 "Let's _do it."_ She reached for his hand and swung around. "We're leaving Mom!" She called from the foyer.

  The door opened from upstairs, and Cat walked down. "Oh Sansa, you look _beautiful."_ She hugged and kissed her. She gave Jon a warm smile. "Look at that face." She cupped her hand over the bearded side of his face. "Be _careful,_ and take care of her." 

  Jon nodded. "I will." He smiled into her hand. 

 "Have fun you two." She looked between them and sighed. 

 "Thanks Mom." 

 "No _drinking Jon."_ Robb said from their side. 

 " _Alright,_ we're leaving. Thanks _Robb."_ Sansa snapped. 

  

  Sansa had never had a nicer dinner. Or date. Or _man_ for that matter. Jon stood alone in the looks department. Sansa got her first taste as to how women reacted to him in the real world. Every female server in the restaurant, walked slowly by their table, ogling him _openly._ She watched as they gathered around their server station and giggled while their heads and eyes turned to their table. Even woman on their own _dates,_ were eyeing him.

  _Sorry girls, but he's NOT on the menu._

  She scoffed after their server set their drinks down, lingering closely over Jon, asking if there was anything else she could get him. _Never mind me._

 "What?" He asked, after noticing her reaction.

  She waited until she was out of earshot, and noticed at least _five_ women customer's eyes on her man.

  She leaned forward over the table. "These _women_ are _blatantly_ staring at you..like I'm not even _here_ sitting with you." Jon started to look around when she smacked her hand down on his. "Don't _look!"_ She hissed. " _Trust me,_ they're all ogling you like a pack of ravenous _wolves..in heat."_

  Jon smiled broadly and brought her hand up to his lips. Kissing her knuckles, he looked straight into her eyes.

 "Let them _stare_ Sweetling. You are the _only woman_ I'll be eying _tonight."_  

 "You better be eying _only_ me _every night."_

 _"_ This night, and every day and night for the rest of my _life_ Sansa." His voice serious. "I _love you.._ I will _only ever love you..forever."_

 _"Jon."_ She said breathlessly. "You really know how to make me feel like the only _woman in the world."_

 _"You are."_ He said quickly. He continued to hold her hand, squeezed it assuringly, and suddenly grinned. "I'm so _hard right now."_

She felt the tension leave her body as she threw her head back in laughter. " _Jon!"_

 _"I can't help it._ You're so fucking beautiful, and this is the first time I've ever seen you _truly jealous."_

She laughed and took a sip of wine. "Have you forgotten the _first time_ I was jealous over _you?_ It kind of.. _started all this."_

He leaned back in his chair, and rubbed his hand over his mouth. "That's _right."_ He chuckled to the side, remembering. 

 "Are you ready to _order_ Sir?"

  Sansa rolled her eyes. 

 "Yes, _we are ready to order."_ He corrected her. "My Lady will be having the duck confit, I'll have the filet, medium rare..and the lemon curd cake for dessert. Have them wrap it up for us please." 

  Sansa's mouth dropped. 

 "I..I'm sorry Sir, but this isn't a _take out_ restaurant."

  Jon's eyes shifted to their server, the smile dropping from his face. "I'm sure if you explain to the Chef, how his front of house staff has offended my date by _staring me down,_ and _ignoring her..he'll make an exception."_

She stood perfectly still and slack jawed. "Y..yes Sir." She stammered and walked straight through the kitchen doors.

 "I'll not have you _disrespected_ Sansa." He rasped.

  His eyes flashed darkly, sending a warmth through her legs. She leaned over the table and gently pulled his hand until his face was in front of hers. She looked at his lips, and smiled, kissing him with every ounce of love she felt for him. 

 "Home then?" 

 "No sweet girl..I booked a room next door. I wanted to spend a few hours _alone."_

Sansa raised an eyebrow. "A few _hours? Hmmm."_ She sneakily smiled.

 

 Jon held his composure until he opened the door to their room. Her hands had been moving over him since they left the restaurant and it took every bit of strength he had, to restrain himself. He _knew_ she was _wet._ In the elevator as she nipped his ear, he reached under her dress and felt it through her panties. 

  _Soaked..for HIM._

Her hands were all over him before the door closed. He set the food on the first surface he saw, and turned to lift her. Her legs wrapped around his back as she hungrily kissed him. Her hand reached between their bodies, grabbing his already hard, throbbing length over his pants. 

 " _Fuck Sansa."_ He growled against her lips. 

 "Lay down, I want you in my _mouth..now."_

Jon turned around, sitting at the foot of the bed, and quickly worked his shirt off, while Sansa went down to her knees, between his legs, working his belt and pants off. She pulled them off his legs, threw them to the side, and put her hands on the sides of his hips. She looked up at him, her eyes glinting, a small curve of her lips that she licked before ducking down, and taking him into her mouth. He leaned back, his arms straight, palms down and clutching the blanket, he threw his head back and groaned. 

 " _Ahhh..Sansa..god."_

She started to bob, quickly down, then back up, licking around his head with the tip of her tongue, then taking him wholly in her mouth. Jon felt himself hit the back of her throat. He heard the sounds of her slurping on his cock. She moved quickly, expertly, keeping her tongue flat against his shaft while she sucked him up and down. He threaded his fingers through her soft, long hair and gripped a handful, when he felt her lips tighten. She added her finger and thumb, wrapping them firmly under her mouth, circling his cock and moving with the pace of her lips. 

 " _Sansa..ungh..Sansa..I'm going to."_ He jerked at her hair lightly, warning her, but she only hummed around him, determined to finish him off with her mouth. He thrust into her, feeling the blinding heat rush through him, he pulsed into her mouth, at the back of her throat. Her mouth continued moving, now slower up and down, as he looked down in time to watch her swallow him whole. 

 "Jesus Sansa..your _mouth..you're amazing at that."_ He stroked gently through her hair, tilting his head. She pulled off him, licking her plumped pink lips and smiled. 

 " _My turn."_

She started crawling between his thighs, pushing him on his back. She pulled her panties down, leaving her dress and heels on, she straddled him and started to shimmie up his torso. Jon realized what she meant.

 " _Fuck yes. Come here."_

He wrapped his hands under her thighs and lifted her until she was directly over his face. His fingertips dug into her thighs and he inhaled deeply. A raspy growl built in his throat, he darted his tongue straight into her cunt, eliciting a loud pent up moan. Her creamy wetness was something he couldn't get enough of, as she was _dripping,_ she had a lot to _give._ He licked up, through her folds, lapping circles around her clit, sucking, kissing, inhaling and _drinking her._

She pulled the hair tie from his hair, grasping his freed curls, and started riding his face.

  _Fuck yes..that's my girl._

Her hips rolled up and down his face. He felt her thighs tremble and knew she was about to peak, he slid two fingers inside her, and kept his tongue pressed flat against her clit, pumping and sucking and licking, until her breathless panting became near silent. 

 " _Ahhh..oh yes..Jon..ungh!"_

She cried out, seizing over his face, squeezing her thighs around his beard. She convulsed while he licked her through, slipping his fingers out, he held onto her bottom until her breathing slowed. She lowered herself, laying next to him, draping her limp limbs across his chest and thighs. 

 " _You're tongue is..fantastic."_ She breathed. 

 "So is _yours."_ Jon said, stroking her back with his fingertips. 

 "Give me a minute love..I'm _exhausted."_

Jon chuckled. "You should _eat Sweetling."_

She lifted her head.  _"Oh yeah..we have FOOD! Good..I'm starving!"_ She looked at Jon. "Are you going to eat?" 

  He couldn't help but laugh. "Yes..I could _eat..again."_

She mock punched his chest and nestled her head in his arm.

 "I'm going to marry you one day Jon." She sighed.

  He wasn't sure he heard her correctly. He lifted his head to look at her. 

 " _What?"_ His voice cracked.

 _"_ I'm going to be your wife one day. I love you. I'll never love anyone like I love you." She raised her head off his chest and looked into his eyes. "I am _yours..forever_ Jon." 

  Jon couldn't think of the perfect response for this perfect moment. He felt overwhelmed with emotion. 

 " _Sansa,_ nothing in the world could make me _happier_ than hearing what you just _said."_ He leaned down to kiss her, feeling a lump form in his throat. "I am _yours. I'll happily be yours. Forever."_

 

  He watched as his future wife ate, sipping champagne they ordered, and fed her dessert. He made love to her twice before their perfect date ended with the two of them entangled in each others arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been forever since I've updated, and I apologize. Someone on tumblr reminded me of my OTP, and I immediately started this chapter. Even though my other fic has taken most of my time, I am, and remain, a Jonsa shipper for LIFE. I hope you enjoy. And thank you for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short, sweet Jonsa chapter, with some smut.

 

 

 

  The sun beat down on her skin so hot, she could _feel_ the future burn she would have to deal with. She stretched out on her back, and felt a slight soreness through her stomach muscles.

  _I've used those quite a bit more than I'm used to._

Jon walked out, wearing his swim trunks and holding a bottle of sunscreen. Sansa used her hand as a visor, squinting her eyes at his pale body.

 "God you're pale." She teased. "How have you spent all summer in the sun, and at the end of them still be as white as Ghost?" 

 "You're not much better than _I_ am." He quipped. "And I suspect you'll be ten shades redder by the end of the day without _this."_ He turned the bottle upside down and shook it. "Turn _over_ Sansa."

 " _Mmmm...yesss."_ She grinned. 

  He smirked down at her. "Not _now sweet girl._ Come on, you _need this."_

 _"_ I don't..I _want_ to burn." She whined.

 "You _want_ blisters? You want to _peel?"_ He leaned down, holding onto the chaise lounge, until his lips touched her ear. " _Turn over right now, or it won't be the sun burning your ass."_

His deep, raspy voice sent shivers through her body. She turned over to her stomach, as he smoothed the lotion over her back, her shoulders, and her legs. He was massaging her as he went, gliding his hands easily over the muscles down her back. By the time he reached her thighs, she was wet, warm, and _horny._ She couldn't help the moan that escaped her lips. Jon's hands slid so close to her arousal, she raised her hips slightly. His hands stopped.

 " _Sansa."_ He warned. 

  She slammed her hips down and huffed in disappointment. He continued massaging, moving his hands slowly over both thighs. He slid them and circled the bottom of her cheeks. She heard a low rumble from his throat and smiled to herself. She raised her hips again. This time his finger skimmed the outline of her bottoms, until he she felt his fingertip wandering close to her core. She closed her eyes in anticipation of his fingers inside her. 

 "Don't _move"_ He growled. 

  She relaxed her hips, letting her body sink down, when he plunged two fingers into her. She moaned, leaning her head down into her folded arms, and fought the primal urge to move around his fingers.

 "You're so _wet_ Sansa." 

  She _knew._ She could feel how easily he glided, moving his fingers inside in different paces. One pumped inside, the other sliding down to her clit. She wanted him inside her, wanted to feel his cock slipping in, and filling her before eventually slamming into her so hard, she'd lose all control. 

 "You can't get _enough you?_ You want me to make you come over..and _over."_

 _"Yes."_ She gasped. 

  She _knew_ him well enough to know, he was _hard,_ and the pleasure he was giving her, felt  so great, she couldn't help but think about the waste of it.

 " _Ahhh Jon."_ She panted. "I want you _inside_ me."

 " _Shhhh."_

_"Please..Jon..please."_

_"Sansa...fuck."_ He groaned.

  She started writhing down, rolling her hips while the heat raced through her. 

 " _Sansa..stop love...Jesus."_

She moaned. "Don't you want to be _inside me?"_ She teased.

  Jon withdrew his fingers so quickly, she barely choked out a moan, before he grabbed her arm, forcing her off the lounge to stand up, guiding her around the pool. She asked no question, as she felt a throbbing ache beating at her core. Walking closely behind her, he pushed her around the corner of the shed and slammed her against the wall. 

 " _Yes."_

Jon pulled his cock over the waistband of his trunks, and moved her bottoms to the side enough to guide himself through her slick folds. With one quick thrust, he frantically pushed inside her, burying his face in her neck. She cried out loudly, as him hand clapped over her mouth.

 " _Shhhh..Sansa."_ He hissed.

  His cock started moving rapidly inside her. She stood on the balls of her feet when he started rubbing her clit with his finger. She felt herself on the verge of shattering, breathing erratically through her nose, and squeezed her eyes tightly shut.

 "That's my _girl..that's it Sansa."_ He grunted against her skin. 

  She salivated against his fingers, and bit down hard. 

 " _Ouch!"_ He winced, retracting his hand quickly. 

  She gasped for breath, unable to care for the pain she'd inflicted on him. He held her arms over her head and fucked her harder, _deeper,_ until she felt like she would explode. 

 " _Jon...Jon!"_

_"Oh god Sansa...fuck!"_

She tried to fight his grip on her arms, wanting to grasp at his hair, his back, _anything_ she could hold on to while she shook through the aching orgasm pulsing through her body. Jon's grip tightened as he pumped into her, his two fingers circling her clit and driving her _insane._

 _"Annnhhh!!"_ She cried, as her head shot forward against his chest. 

  Jon grunted, slamming her bundled wrists against the wall over her head, as his body convulsed against hers. She bit her lip and whimpered against his chest, her body wracked with ache. He panted heavily against her neck and loosened his grip on her wrists. Her arms fell limply, and draped limply over his shoulders. 

 "Will I ever _tire of you?"_ He breathed.

 "Will I ever tire of _you?"_ She repeated. 

 "I hope not Sweetling..but I'm thinking some _alone time_ might not be a bad idea."

  She pulled away from his chest and looked at him. "You want to _leave me?"_

Jon met her eyes with a crooked smile across his lips. "No Sansa..I mean..the _two of us."_

Her eyes widened. "Yes...yes Jon! That sound _wonderful!"_ She beamed.

  _Alone time with Jon..what more could I ask for?_

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it's short..but it's sweet. I still feel a bit Jonsa needy. Hope you enjoyed the update! 
> 
> PS: my husband proofread this for me because I'm a little drunk. The Saints game. Lol let me know if he messed up..cuz proving him wrong is always great.


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